While I love the idea of pooping on company time, I much prefer my own bathroom with a bidet and good quality toilet paper.
this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2026
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I work from home, best of both worlds 👉🤠👉
Travel bidets may not really compete with an actual appliance, but it's better than just shitty workplace toilet paper
I tried a portable bidet but it doesn't hold enough water. So I got a handheld bidet and I can't fathom how anybody's supposed to use that (especially with the trigger right in the splashback zone). Perhaps my only option is spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on a built in one.
Can you use a bidet attachment for the toilet? It just uses the supply line for the toilet and is fairly easy to install. They cost around $30.
Just buy a Super Soaker at that point and bend over.
Might actually be an improvement. One issue with the portable and handheld bidets are that they scatter water in all directions. It would be preferable if the stream was targeted to where it really counts instead.
This is the most elitist shit I've ever read
I didn’t understand it until I installed a bidet.
Now shitting anywhere but Home Toilet and two friends’ houses feels horrible.
Same. I used to think wet wipes were the pinnacle of human civilization, now they're a distant second to the bidet.
It's not about the bidet.
It's about getting paid.
Bidets not being standard everywhere is a truly bizarre course for history to have taken.
Non bidet user detected
Toilet paper itself is probably one of the most “elitist” things ever, one of the bajillions of unnecessary capitalist contradictions, huge source of pollution, and unhealthy, but very profitable so status quo it is
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime
That's why I poop on company time
I feel the same way about jacking off.
Gonna be real awkward when I have to return to the office...
Now this is what I call a shitpost
I mean the same advice could probably be used to make sure you poop after getting to work ..
Why not both? Take your real shit at home with all your comforts, then emergency run to the toilet when you get to work and just sit there for a while soaking up the company dough.
Why would any working person poop for free when they could be pooping on the company dime?
Pooping in the office bathroom is quite unpleasant tbh. Sharing a bathroom with people farting and grunting... The smells.. Seeing familiar people's shoes under the stall (if you're unfortunately American)...the condition the bathroom is left in sometimes, including there being not enough toilet paper... I'm glad I wfh now. People are nasty.
You forgot to mention the realization about how many people use the bathroom and then don't wash their hands. Yeah, people are nasty.
If you shit before work your body has failed you
If I do anything before shitting, my body has failed me
Oh those wacky billionaire-owned media companies. Is there nothing they won't do (or don't own)?
Someone link that website where you can calculate how much you're getting paid to poop at work.
sigh okay...
Seems broken? Certificate won't load :(
There's a few of them but this one looked deliciously old
I drink coffee on my way to work so I can poop when I get there and the toilets are still cleanish
I misread it as "poop yourself". And it still made sense
Pro tip on how to go home early.