this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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[–] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 65 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The driver of this vehicle pours out his whole pocket of pennies on the table at Dennie's, licks them one at a time and turns them face up.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 47 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Is that not how everyone pays for their Grand Slam?

[–] BallShapedMan@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fair point, my mistake. 🤣

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

No problem, just remember not to lick any dog butts on your way out.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 24 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] modus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Butt Sharpies are the new ass pennies.

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[–] crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 55 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Based on the level of thought and effort that went into his messaging, I'd bet this guy got diagnosed with colon cancer and he's correlating it with the time(s) he fucked his dog that also had colon cancer.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (20 children)

Somewhat more charitably...

Causal misattribution.

They both got cancer because they both eat meat with too much of some kind of carcinogenic toxin in it, (or waaay too much red meat in general), because they are both poor and live in a polluted area or at least area with poor food standards.

That also correlates with the ignorance, but still an attempt to craft an explanation: never had the chance to get well educated, else they'd know cancer is not ... contagious, broadly transmissable.

Poor dumbass tried to spell 'Prevent' and ended up with 'Pervert'.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You pervert misunderstandings.

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[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago
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[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 45 points 1 week ago (8 children)

sniff butt -> become cancer dog

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You really can’t argue with science!

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I was going to say 'but you can argue with schizophrenia!'... and then I realized well that wouldn't actually achieve anything now would it.

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[–] anon_8675309@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Our education system folks.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Gladaed@feddit.org 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Fun fact: there actually is a transmissible cancer in dogs. But it can only pass to dogs since it is dog cells.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

So you are saying I should not put dog cells inside of me. Got it.

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hey dawg, I heard you like dogs.

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[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What's the bet a certain someone in a certain white Chevy pickup had a dog die from cancer a while ago and they themselves recently had a battle with testicular cancer, and there's things a doctor never wanted to hear or say as they tried to convince the certain someone in a certain white Chevy pickup that, "no, cancer cannot be transmitted from dogs to humans."

[–] mirshafie 10 points 1 week ago

"Dogs get cancer at 10x the rate of you and me, because dogs lick their balls and eat their turds. I did a decade of yoga to teach myself to lick my own balls, and then I got pervert butt cancer. NO DOG IN HOUSE!"

[–] aaaa@piefed.world 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Noise tongue and butt?

Interesting

[–] db2@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] ol_capt_joe@piefed.ee 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Parking in the disabled spot with the toolbox in the bed and this wild message tell me there's probably an impairment, but not a physical one.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

They're putting chemicals in the dog tutds that's turnin' the frickin' gays into pervert cancer!

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[–] acchariya@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You know when someone goes into home depot and buys a whole bunch of letters like this, the cashier should really just take a minute to check with the customer like are you using these to write some crazy ass message on your white van? Immediate intervention.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago

"How many E's do I need for FREE CANDY?"

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cancer is stored in the butt.

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[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I wonder if this person eats eggs or drinks milk.

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[–] snooggums@piefed.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

PERVERT NO CANCER

DOGS IN HOUSE.

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

okay let me get this straight. or gay. or whatever. dude got cancer from his dog sticking his dogs nose up his dogs butt and then his butt, and then he got cancer. i seen what they two do with their noise and tongue and butt together.

he got like 100 times more cance than me

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Is this clown allowed to own guns?

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago

Encouraged!

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Sadly, you know the answer. USA! USA!

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[–] seathru@quokk.au 10 points 1 week ago

"NO DOGS IN HOUSE"

100% with you there buddy.

Cancer Dog: Not even once.

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

DID YOU KNOW?! CANCER DOG GET 10X MORE CANCE THAN SILVERADO???!!!!

[–] FahrenheitGhost@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bet I can guess what political party they are affiliated with.

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[–] foodandart@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What the ever-loving fuck is this weirdness? LOL!

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...There. Now everybody knows.

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 8 points 1 week ago

My parents had sexy sex?! That’s disgusting.

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I really enjoy the upside down exclamation marks for i. ¡i

And that P turned R

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