this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 84 points 4 days ago (2 children)

But did it affect trout season, though?

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Absolute hogs.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

17 people died that day, presumably of a bad trout season

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 39 points 4 days ago

I was dating a Japanese woman when the Tsunami happened. No one would eat anything out of the sea for ages considering...

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago (3 children)

affect trout season

For the better, or the worse?

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

worse. flood will absorb contaminants into the water bodies.

first one, then the other

[–] sudoMakeUser@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 days ago

I would imagine the floods would bring the trout out of the rivers and distribute them to locations that are suboptimal for trout fishing.

[–] TheFerrango@feddit.it 20 points 3 days ago

Anon is right though

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 days ago

Thats honestly hilarious.

Like a joke in a Coen brothers film, ahahah!

[–] wdx@feddit.org 7 points 3 days ago
[–] Mac@mander.xyz 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I, too, said astonishingly dumb shit when i was young.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

the other day i was on a chowder cruise and one of my new friends there was pointing at a building on one of the piers and asking what it was. i squinted, gave it my best "hrm." and then pointed to the right of where she did and said "well it looks like a boat"

the thing i learned about dad jokes (and similar humor) is that you don't tell them to make other people laugh, you tell them to make yourself giggle. like jimmy fallon.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

TIL there are cruises that only serve chowder. As if that foul industry couldn't get worse...

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Chowder's delightful! That said I wouldn't eat cruise chowder to stave off starvation.

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

I like it too, but that would spoil the punchline.

they also had salad and some kind of sandwich i couldn't eat.

[–] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 days ago

Anon has priorities.

[–] mbp@slrpnk.net 4 points 3 days ago

I'd rather be fishing, amirite?

[–] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Died bcause trout was their staple and they couldn't get more?

[–] antsu@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 3 days ago

Too much water made the trouts too powerful. They killed all those people, like in a B-tier movie.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com -2 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Hundreds of thousands of people die every day, get over it

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

What an obnoxiously shitty take. You can say then when some senile celebrity dies thousands of kilometers away from you, not to someone whose local community has suffered mass tragedy.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 days ago

It's a greentext, it's likely fiction

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

is mass tragedy worse than watching your father choke to death slowly on his own fluids?

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not comparable at all. Not without context anyways.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

what if my dad was the one who caused the mass tragedy?

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Then you’d better ask your local covenant whether a curse has been cast upon your bloodline, as your father’s deeds may affect your fate

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

oh, i have been undoing his curse my entire life.

that's less of a curse and more of a stain

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Which is what I will tell you when one of your loved ones died.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 1 points 3 days ago

My nan's dying either today or tomorrow and that's just life.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

After the next crisis: "There used to be 9 billion of us..."