Most of the time, you're not actually consciously in control of your behaviour; you're running a very efficient automatic process. Think of it like, the workers on the ship keep working, and the ship keeps it's course, even when the captain is having a nap and not yelling instructions. They do what they are trained to do.

People with ADHD, autism, etc, are just often keenly aware of their own internal processes, due to necessity. The quartermaster keeps dropping the entire schedule and navigational charts into the ocean, the navigator gets distracted by every island and turns towards it, and the incoming comms are confusing and garbled.

So we end up having to analyse and explain our own brain often, since it doesn't "just work" in society the way everyone else's does. Neurotypicals can just take a ship to the next island without even thinking about it. We have to think about it, and work hard to train our brains to do things differently than they are wont to do. I don't think there's really any other way to refer to this kind of thing other than "my brain does this weird thing".

Waait what, we're not supposed to do it this way?

Half the time I'm a bystander anyway. So i have to observe behavioral patterns to understand why i did something and to slowly nudge those towards different ends. Ant this is just considering observable effects, half the stuff is near ir completely invisible anyway.

To some degree, everyone does this. Just the term "my brain" implies that there's some other "me" in possession of the brain. But IMO the AuDHD definitely forces more self reflection and analysis that makes you feel like an outside observer of your own brain.

100% of people I know or have asked refer to "themselves and their brain". This is not a Autism or ADHD thing.

I think that is very normal for autists without adhd too.

We are using a flawed tool to manage said flawed tool, it's both external and internal to the self. It's a hard life sometimes.

Ditto but I'm neurotypical.

It's two other people. One ADHD and one autism, they pull me between them

My internal processes feel like a parliament on the verge of fistfighting, the ruling maturity/stability/civility alliance struggles constantly to keep the fringe impulses from grabbing the wheel and steering us toward inadvisable actions

I do not have ADHD so I wonder about it. I don't have voices in my head I don't fidget or have problems focusing. I have other problems, mostly having to do with empathy