Interesting, thanks.

I guess you're right.

This is like the memes calling Trump and Putin gay, you aren’t hurting your target, you are just further marginalizing normal people who struggle with these issues.

Can't say for certain without knowing exactly which memes you're talking about but the ones I've seen are often the opposite. The butt of the joke is their 'hypermasculinity', drawing attention to how ridiculous the concept is and thereby trying to destigmatize being gay or at least being more open to 'gay' behaviours (e.g. empathy).

There's also ones where they're directly accused of being closeted (e.g. Graham) which is a bit more harmful but even then it seems strategically positive in that allies won't care, and if it gets the hateful ones to turn on them that improves conditions for the vast majority of ordinary lgbtq+ members.