Sorry for how trite and predictable this is, but even though I was pretty cynical half my life ago, I couldn't have imagined so vile and corrupt a personage occupying the White House as what is there now, nor how easily and with how much cooperation they've been able to destroy the Constitution and government that was based on it.

That everything I learned about computers from assembly language in the 80s to tinkering with all the operating systems in the world would be thrown in the trash by a bunch of moronic managers who decided that ChatGPT was better than learning and being curious.

And as a result, that I would be disgusted by what is happening with programmers, and that I would find another job that does not involve any technology whatsoever. I loved that shit, I hate what it has become.

My boyfriend cares about me. Like, deeply. Like he will go out of his way to do things to support me. I was raised being told over and over that men are selfish and generally more concerned for themselves than their wives. That I need to be prepared to shoulder more of the burden. This is weird. He’s super nice. I can’t get over it.

I’m 44. The fact I’m still living. Nothing is wrong with me health wise. It’s just that past 40 is such a long time to live.

The two things I think would be most surprising to 25 year old me would be that I still skateboard regularly, and how happy I am being single, as they'd just gotten married and been told they're too old to be skating.

The biggest surprise would definitely be that I'm trans, so I look completely different now than 19-years-old me might have imagined :D

I am surprised that I made it out of my 20s and 30s alive. I also didn't expect to have a job that aligns with my ethics. I am a caregiver for high functioning adults with special needs and pretty good at it.

At 21 years old, I would never have thought I'd be living in [REDACTED] with 4 kids, a GF and awell paying job I actually like.

Alternatively, 21 year old me would probably have had his mind blown if I'd shown him all the places in the world I've had the pleasure of visiting.

The level of evil that adults are capable of. My young self would never have imagined it. I used to think humans were nice to each other.

How much I've started to hate technology. It's like I had smart phones before my peers had flip phones. Same with computers; let me go to the computer graveyard room and put one together for myself. My family was very into tech so I had a computer since I was 5.

I think at this point I'm just not into it. Same with cars; I like my almost thirty year old cars.

I still cannot belive I am married to my wife. She is amazing. She can basically solve any problem. She is a great mom. She helps me talk through my problems, she helps me make decisions, she can hold up her end of a conversation, and she is beautiful. I've always been fascinated by women in their late 30's or 40's that were still beautiful, and now I have one living in my house.

Mid-forties now. Mid-20s me would be surprised to know that yes, he does have major depression and doesn't have to just find a way to work around that. A lot of great things came after that, but many unnecessarily bad things in the interim. Now I'm just what I feel to be a normal amount of depressed! 😅

How much of working life is emotional prostitution.

50 years old.

1. That I am as "successful" as I currently am. Measured by typical achievement of "The American Dream".
2. Why the fuck do I live on a cul-de-sac in some boring-ass suburban neighborhood with literally zero charm or culture. I should be living on the top floor of some mixed-use urban building with a subway or light rail station across the street.
3. Most importantly, younger me would be so disappointed in my Christmas lights. Where are all the Christmas lights? I have a house. I can afford plenty of Christmas lights. Why are my house and yard and trees and bushes not absolutely doused in Christmas lights. Like Clark W. Griswold levels...you see younger me, it turns out that having a house is already a lot of stupid, unnecessary work, and then putting up Christmas lights and taking them down is even more work and I'm tired.

I had a dead-set career path (game design) and even went to college with this path in mind. When it all came together and I finally had the opportunity to do it, I made a sudden decision against it.

Ended up being the right choice, but I don't think my younger self would believe it.

40 now. At 20 I was a know-it-all crusader against having kids and now my two children are the absolute center of my universe.

I can't even begin to explain the kind of joy these two kids create out of thin air. It's simply beyond my ability to describe how much I love them and how grateful that I am to have met a woman I loved so much that it seemed wrong to not want to bring more of her into the world.

I am so fucking overwhelmed that my life turned out the way it has that I suffer from hidden imposter syndrome because I just don't feel like I deserve to be this happy.

All I can do is try to be a worthy father and husband.

The American experiment ending like this, with not one person standing up for it.

When I was 17 I was fresh out of high school and had no idea what I wanted to study or do. I'm 34 and have studied a myriad of shit by now but I guess what is most surprising is that I still don't know what I want to do.

39. Half would be 19.5.

So, second year of college. I would be surprised about my salary vs what that's worth in today's economy. I would have been ecstatic with this back then. Would have thought I was living the dream. Inflation is a bitch.

Also, I probably would be shocked at how cool retro handhelds are now. I just got a Retroid Pocket Nova, and it can play every console I've ever had (I stopped console gaming at the PS2). And, it can run some Windows games. At 19, I was rocking a Windows Mobile 6 PDA, with a 624 MHz processor.

I'm a woman now.

Well 15 year old me, you'll figure it out in about two years.

I'm chronically ill. I was always healthy and skinny and would totally judge fat people.

early 50's. did well in school and got a lot of education. I knew I would not necessarily be rich but technically in a meritocracy I should have done pretty well. I should note I have done better than many of the peers both my wife and I know. Most who have done better did so by making good connections. I can't believe how poorly I have had to live and that my retirement is so unsure at this age. Heck I thought the increasing retirement age would reverse itself and advancement would allow for a much more utopian society. lol. also technological miracles beyond my wildest imaginations implemented in dystopian ways beyond my wildest fears.

Compared to my early 20s, living in rural Japan is probably the most surprising things. As well it should as now my plan is to GTFO to a country that believes more in workers' rights, allows getting citizenship while maintaining an old one (need my US citizenship until my parents pass and Japan has no visa to move them here unless they're basically homeless), etc.

Probably how cool and popular I am. 17 year old me was pretty awkward and bad at socializing.

I'm not sure 20 year old me would be very surprised. I ended up pretty much exactly where it would be expected of me: still single, living in a garage, working a dead end factory job. No possibility of ever owning a home and dwindling possibly for any kind of retirement.

That I'm alive. Suicidal depression is a hell of a drug.

That I'm living on the other side of the world, that I not only am married, but married to a holy crap hot mom.

That I'm now also jobless due to AI

Age 50

I’m 40, half a life ago I was 8 years pre-lung transplant. I’d be shocked that I did it at all, I was very anti-transplant for various reasons but having kids I love enter my life when I was 22 changed my mind, which would also be a shocker since I was also anti kids at 20, but I’d also be shocked it worked, one of the main reasons I was against it was I was sure if I got one I would suffer even more and die anyway. So I guess at the end of the day, I’d be mostly surprised I wasn’t dead.

that I'm alive, i was 100% convinced in the 1980s i'd be dead by 2000, i'm now 58. and its 2026.

I honestly don't know what the fuck happened; (

all the shit i can afford that i never dreamed of even having.

curse of low expectations I guess.

But I'd be super depressed that I never found a partner or had a family. Half a lifetime ago i was dating someone I thought I'd marry and have a family with... then she turned out to hate me and children. And sadly ever I met since her also hated me and children... so better off being single than being with someone who hates me.

26, to my 13 self would be wack. I came out at 17, married at 24, divorced at 25. Still the same kid looking for friends and a family. I would've believed my parents would be homophobic at 13 and they still are at 26. I dropped out of college, didn't marry my girlfriend. I'm a chef now, I studied hard to follow my dad into an IT career, that went no where fast.

My 13 yo self would think I'm a loser and an addict. He was very dumb and a 13 yo, lmao wtf do they know.

Probably the credit card debt. And learning how long that asshole cat I got as a sophomore in college ended up living (18.5 spiteful years).

I was a rolling stone - drifting and drinking aimlessly through my 20s, backpacking, boozing and picking up weird jobs and weird people as I wandered through Europe and south east Asia. Now I'm an IT manager and married with 2 kids, a mortgage and a dog.

At 17, I would have been ungodly shocked to know that those fainting episodes were part of something much much bigger. I'd be a little put off by how sedentary I become, but at least I'm still fighting the good fight.

I think I also would be fairly shocked to see myself as gay.

Young me would have a hell of an emotional rollercoaster to see current me for certain, lol