My siblings and I be like: one’s got two masters degrees, but struggled with friends until adulthood; one's super good with people, but didn’t graduate college and is very happy with a job as a restaurant manager; and one’s got friends and is in academia, but moved continents and isn’t going to have kids.

Let's be honest. Real competitive parents will even compare two shitheads by who is slightly less shitty.

Or there's my family, where my generation all have good jobs except my sister and me. I'm the friendly disabled fail uncle, and my sister is the bpd schizo aunt who thank FUCK now lives in another state.