hang onto it so that you never have to buy butter again for the rest of your life.

Make clarified butter and use it to fry shit (not literally).

Make a fuckton of caramel and speedrun diabetes.

Reverse pickpocket! Walk around and put butter in people's pockets!

Shortbread. Very simple ingredients (flour, butter, sugar), and uses lots of butter. Hard to screw up and tasty even if you keep it very simple.

Or just appreciate not having to buy any butter for a while. If it's in the freezer, it'll keep.

Great opportunity here to share an amazing work of art. This is the only place I can find it online. I still have their album Knocked Up on CD.

I would mix with fresh dill/parsley or other greens, some salt and pepper,then spread on bread or boiled potatoes 🥔. Yummy.
I make caramel if I find butter in promotion.

we were warned about you in the math problems

Biscuits

learn to make parathas
beurre blanc, hollandaise or other sauces
make compound butter and freeze.
plenty of patisserie uses shittons of butter.

You could make ghee if you want to store it for later.
That is if it's real butter.
I hear in the US that is often not the case.

OP should do a giveaway, roll the dice and give out however many it lands on 😁 I'll go first:

Hit up your local dispensaries/growers and see if you can get some cheap trimmings/shake and make some cannibutter.

I don't have a recipe for you, but I think shortbread is like equal parts flour and butter.

Alternatively, LOTS of shrimp scampi.

Pound cake! As the name implies, uses like a lb of butter (and floor and sugar and eggs).

Good luck unwrapping all them though. That sounds the most annoying!

You can just pretend you're Germany.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butter_mountain

Put it in your coffee.