I miss when game covers completely fooled me into thinking a game would be awesome.

MegaWars was a series of real-time online multiplayer space empire building games which were hosted on CompuServe in the 1980s and lasted well into the 1990s. The original MegaWars I was a port of Decwar, originally developed at the University of Texas at Austin. A port using a basic client/server protocol and a basic graphical interface on the TRS-80 Color Computer as MegaWars II was never released. MegaWars III followed, based on an entirely different engine originally developed by Kesmai.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MegaWars

It's like someone looked at Star Wars and thought "This is some pansy shit. I need a Star Wars for a real man."

I think I remember seeing the ad and really wanting to try this, but I don't think I had a computer at the time.

I do remember Tradewars, a turn-based game some BBSs ran. It's probably the same concept, right? You have some stats and a limited number of moves per day to manipulate markets and what not.

Surprisingly egalitarian in how underdressed everyone is.

The megawars will be dangerous. Make sure you bring your helmet. Shouldn't need anything else though