this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2025
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Stop Drinking

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This is a place to motivate each other to control or stop drinking. It is also a place for non drinkers to discuss and share.

We welcome anyone who wishes to join in by asking for advice, sharing our experiences and stories, or just encouraging someone who is trying to quit or cut down.

Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile.

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I'm looking to stop drinking again. Ive been drinking weekly 3 to 4 days a week. I drink mostly beer and seltzers. I only drink hard lq with a mixer. Pretty sure this is considered alcoholism and now I'm trying to stop

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[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

DISCLAIMER: I’m a SMART Recovery volunteer, a meeting facilitator, among other things. Any info here will inevitably be colored by this.

The concept of "Alcoholism" is debated in the addiction research community. It is a label to simplify labeling the problems component of your addiction problems. In SMART we don't label.

There is no good or safe amount of alcohol, however many people manage drinking in a non-problematic way, others do it problematically. It's considered alcohol use disorder when your health or lifestyle is compromised.

There are infinite ways to mismanage the use of substances.

The concept of disease or behavioral disorder is debated in the research community, but the behavioral focus is rapidly becoming the leading theory. The concept of substance use disorder as mainly a behavioral problem is becoming the norm.

Alcoholism as an illness is mainly espoused by non-professionals , like general physicians, social workers, and other non-specialists, as well as 12 step and other programs, which are based on tradition and don't follow scientific research.

The chances of success in recovery are multiplied if you attend peer support groups. . I obviously recommend SMART, but if that is not your thing, you have 12 step, like AA, Recovery Dharma, and others. You do you.

SMART doesn’t shame, doesn’t stigmatize, doesn’t do labels. We are people with an addiction management problem, not alcoholics, or drug addicts or whatever.

SMART is the leading science-based addiction peer self-support organization world wide. SMART is essentially run by volunteers and is a non-profit. Meetings are free and confidential, with thousands of online and face to face meetings. There are 1000's of meetings weekly world-wide.

SMART Recovery US website: https://smartrecovery.org/

There are others world wide. A web search with SMART Recovery (language/country) should give you the right result

https://smartrecoveryglobal.org/

has resources for countries without an established branch

Also, a link to a non-official Discord recovery server, (there are also other program rooms) that leans SMART, where 1000s of people with addiction issues hang out 24/7, as well as many experienced volunteers. We call it “the support group in your pocket”

There are publications, like the participant handbook, which are a paid, but very affordable resource, not required but very helpful. That said, most of the material is available free of charge on the website. The handbook simply provides a structured way to understand the concepts and tools.

Spirituality, like higher powers, is not needed, that is left to the individual.

The program is is based on self empowerment, behavioral training, how to learn to cope with what leads us to addictive behaviors.

The program is not strictly abstinence oriented. It’s about identifying goals, and help you achieve them. It supports therapy, professionally prescribed meds, it’s not adverse to moderation and harm reduction, as current addiction treatment research supports (but we recognize that if you have reached a mismanagement stage, sobriety will be much easier to maintain)

SMART doesn’t shame, doesn’t stigmatize, doesn’t do labels. We are people with an addiction management problem, not alcoholics, or drug addicts or whatever.

There are no steps. It’s a 4 point program. Points (or areas) can be approached individually or at the same time:

Build and maintain motivation
Cope with urges and cravings
Manage thoughts, feelings and behavior
Lead a balanced life

The program is oriented towards the addictive behaviors, and doesn’t focus on the substance or maladaptive behavior , but how to deal with it. It works for Alcohol, nicotine, drugs, and for things like porn addiction, eating disorders, gambling…

The program is considered one of multiple pathways to recovery, does not claim to be the only way. Many combine it with 12 step, or whatever helps them also.

I hope this helps. If anybody has any questions, please ask.

[–] oOAlteredBeastOo@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

Have you tried using the "I Am Sober" app? I've been using it for years and have had good success with it. My advice would be to track exactly how many drinks you have each day and challenge yourself to go longer and longer periods without drinking. The longer you go, the more often you will notice how good it feels to not be bloated or hungover all the time.

I am currently ~6 months sober and feeling great! I used to drink 2-3 beers a night. If you account for the % abv the number was occasionally closer to 4-6. I found that my cravings for beer began to fade after quitting for about a month. Those four weeks can be surprisingly hard to achieve if you have never tried quiting before. Just do your best and don't let a relapse convince you that it can't be done.

After a while you will probably lose some weight. Beer has a ton of sugar and empty calories. It also messes with how efficient your body is at digesting food. I've lost 30 pounds since I began my journey! Do you have acid reflux? If so, you might begin to notice that quitting reduces acid reflux and ulcer flare ups. As a result, you might not need to use antacids as often. I recently found out that antacids can impact the effectiveness of medication you might be taking since it changes the pH of your stomach.

The only other advice I can give is that you might need to relearn how to manage stress/anxiety without alcohol. You might also feel pressured to drink at social gatherings. As you build confidence, it will become easier to not let others pressure you to drink. That might take some time. I've found that kombucha, CBD sodas, or ginger beer have been great replacements for alcohol in social situations and easily fly under the radar of people not minding their own damn business. 😁

I'm glad you are considering quitting drinking! Best of luck to you!

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I was drinking 6-7 days a week, 6-12 beers per day. So roughly 60 beers per week. On vacation I'd easily hit 100 beers per week.

I'll be 4 months sober this Friday.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Doctors have put numbers around what is considered excessive drinking, but the rule of thumb is that if you think you might have a problem, you probably do. TBH, this is for you to decide and it's an extremely serious question for you to think about on your own. ("Binge" drinking is defined as more than 4 or 5 drinks per night. Lulz wut? Rookie numbers. /s)

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. When I stopped, I was doing a 12 pack on week days, and much more on the weekends. Whatever my actual "numbers" were, I always drank till I blacked out. My life was basically centered around drinking time without me realizing it.

Probably the best thing to do first is see a doctor. Be open and honest about how much you drink and get a plan on how to stop. If you have crossed the threshold into physical alcohol dependency, quitting cold turkey can be dangerous. Get a medical assessment first, please.

Alcohol dependency can take years to develop. Intense cravings and "the shakes" are a good warning sign that you have crossed that boundary, but that may not always be the case.

While I am not a fan of twelve step recovery programs, they can work for some people. A a minimum, do some reading into A.A. and the 12 steps of recovery. At a minimum, those recovery steps may be a good barometer of how much of an alcoholic you are. (ie: are you in denial; how much of your life have you trashed because of booze; how many people have you hurt; etc, etc.) There are many recovery programs out there, so look around. The goal is to at least give you an idea of the ride you are in for if you are actually an alcoholic.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The whole 'number of drinks a week' thing is a bogus metric. You can go weeks without drinking and still have a problem.

I always liked to say that sober me wasn't an alcoholic; tipsy me was.

I never felt compelled to drink, or even a strong urge. I could usually have a beer or two and be fine, but every once in a while a switch would flip and I'd try to drink all the alcohol I could get ahold of.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Totally agree as alcoholism really is a self diagnosed issue in its early stages. As you called out, it starts exactly how you describe. You can stop for weeks with no side effects, but once you have that first drink, you are on a fucking mission to make up for lost time. Alcoholism just develops so many different ways for so many different people it can be confusing when trying to define it.

It's not that the drinks per day/week is a bogus metric, it's a logical average trajectory to become physically dependent over time. It may take years, but it's a possibility. Of course, everyone's physiology is different, so there is that.

Since we are talking about physical dependency and/or cravings, it was a slow path for me, but nearly an instant transition when I realized addiction had formed. When I stopped being able to solder wires together because my hands shook so much, that was a big clue. The cravings were not as sharp as nicotine can be, but it was deeper and more driven as a need to ease the late morning shakes. I couldn't physically function without downing a few glasses of wine before lunch.

I went for years with being able to stop for days as a time, until I couldn't. It was almost if I had crossed a very specific threshold, and I was stuck.

TBH, I am super glad you never felt compelled to drink and I would never wish that feeling on anyone. You saw the warning signs of alcoholism way before many do, so be proud of yourself for that.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates, sodium, are demonized, but they all have nutritional merit (in moderation) and a Recommended Daily Value. Alcohol, in contrast, has no RDV, and no nutritional benefit.

The "1 glass of red wine a day for heart health" myth has been debunked, and experts now say that no amount of alcohol is good for you, in fact it actively harms you, even in small amounts:

https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health

I drink socially occasionally and will never judge others who do, but the short of it is: the less alcohol you drink (up to and including none) the better for your health. If you feel you have to drink or can't moderate, you should look into support to help you avoid it.

[–] onslaught545@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

The only caveat is that ethanol is great for counteracting methanol and ethylene glycol poisoning. But those are some extreme edge cases.

[–] reallyzen@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I learned one thing at the rehab centre: there are many profiles of alcoholism. The Blind Drunk every saturday only, the just-two-glasses-everyday, the Highly Functional one bottle of whisky a day... Then the "I am not an alcoholic because I only drink after 6pm".

And such, and such.

I don't know how much, exactly, I was doing one year, 11 months and eighteen days ago, but it started with coffee in my morning whisky. And stopped at the bewilderment of all my entourage who never noticed my addiction.

The key is if you cannot restrain yourself without effort, you have an addiction issue. Maybe you don't, and fixing yourself reasonable "social lubrifiant" limit can work for you - it works for many people.

Try your limits - your inferior limits of course, and seek help if needed.

I wish you the best.

[–] rosamundi@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

I'm not sure that comparing yourself to others is a good idea. The only thing that really matters is that you want to stop drinking, and how much other people drank before they stopped shouldn't really enter into the equation.

I also don't think there's a hard and fast "this many units per day/week is alcoholism" rule. The official guidance from most health bodies is that there is no safe consumption amount and the units per week guidance is about harm reduction.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

All it took for me was 1 entire bottle (a 5th) of Jim Beam.