I'm not sure that comparing yourself to others is a good idea. The only thing that really matters is that you want to stop drinking, and how much other people drank before they stopped shouldn't really enter into the equation.
I also don't think there's a hard and fast "this many units per day/week is alcoholism" rule. The official guidance from most health bodies is that there is no safe consumption amount and the units per week guidance is about harm reduction.
A couple of times I've thought "what this day needs is a nice cold glass of rosé," and then I've thought "that's interesting, what brought that on?" and it's usually because it's the first nice day we've had in a million years.
My local supermarket sells a really nice fermented tea in a rosé style, it's non-alcoholic, lightly sparkling, and I make sure I always have a couple of bottles of that at home, so in addition to playing the tape forward of hangovers and regret and having to reset my sobriety counters and how annoyed that would make me, I have something in that can scratch the itch of "I want a nice drink in the sunshine."
Can you start investigating the non-alcoholic options the beachside bars offer?
Oh, she was a beauty, I'm sorry for your loss.
🐢slow and steady wins the race.
Community and connection is so important for getting you outside of your own head, I think.
Sober holidays are really good - no nursing hangovers over the hotel breakfast, you can be out and doing things before it gets crowded, and because you don't drink at lunchtime you can do stuff in the afternoon as well.
What's your game plan? Are you going somewhere with good AF drinks? Does your friend know that you're not drinking?
Viel Glück!
(google translate assures me that means "good luck").
It hit 33C in the UK yesterday. We're not built for that sort of weather.
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