Stop Drinking

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This is a place to motivate each other to control or stop drinking. It is also a place for non drinkers to discuss and share.

We welcome anyone who wishes to join in by asking for advice, sharing our experiences and stories, or just encouraging someone who is trying to quit or cut down.

Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile.

founded 2 years ago
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Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

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submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works to c/stopdrinking@lemmy.world
 
 

I'm a big fan of naltrexone, I take it daily. I've stopped drinking dozens of times but naltrexone made it stick.

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DISCLAIMER: I'm a SMART volunteer, a meeting facilitator, among other things. I do this to give back. SMART is essentially run by volunteers.

SMART Recovery US website: https://smartrecovery.org/

There are others world wide. A web search with SMART Recovery (language/country) should give you the right result)

https://smartrecoveryglobal.org/

has resources for countries without an established branch

Also, a link to a non-official recovery server, (there are also other program rooms) that leans SMART: https://discord.gg/6YGQFR3b where 1000s of people with addiction issues hang out, as well as many experienced volunteers. We call it "the support group in your pocket"

SMART is the leading science-based addiction peer self-support organization world wide. Non-profit. Meetings are free and confidential, with thousands of online and face to face meetings. There are 1000s of meetings weekly world-wide.

There are publications, like the participant handbook, which are a paid, but very affordable resource, not necessary but very helpful. That said, most of the material is available free of charge on the website. The handbook simply provides a structured way to understand the concepts and tools.

Spirituality, like higher powers, is not needed, that is left to the individual.

The program is is based on self empowerment, behavioral training, how to learn to cope with what leads us to addictive behaviors.

The program is not strictly abstinence oriented. It's about identifying goals, and help you achieve them. It supports therapy, professionally prescribed meds, it's not adverse to moderation and harm reduction, as current addiction treatment research supports.

SMART doesn't shame, doesn't stigmatize, doesn't do labels. We are people with an addiction management problem, not alcoholics, or drug addicts or whatever.

There are no steps. It's a 4 point program. Points (or areas) can be approached individually or at the same time:

  1. Build and maintain motivation
  2. Cope with urges and cravings
  3. Manage thoughts, feelings and behavior
  4. Lead a balanced life

The program is oriented towards the addictive behaviors, and doesn't focus on the substance or maladaptive behavior , but how to deal with it. It works for Alcohol, nicotine, drugs, and for things like porn addiction, eating disorders, gambling...

The program is considered one of multiple pathways to recovery, does not claim to be the only way. Many combine it with 12 step, or whatever helps them also.

I hope this helps. If anybody has any questions, please ask.

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I mentioned in a comment that I would do a post about sleep, so here you are.

Among its many, many other impacts, alcohol impacts your sleep horribly. Your body, instead of using its downtime to do cell repair and everything else, is pulling its resources to your liver to process the poison you've consumed.

Fixing sleep is a process, it's not a one and done. If you cut the booze and immediately start sleeping like a baby, you are very lucky, and lean into that, because everything is better with a good night's sleep behind you.

This is what I did. Some of this stuff involves spending money (weighted blanket, diffuser and oils, blackout curtains), but those are the "nice to have" items, not the essentials. I got a bit obsessive in the first month or two, because I didn't want to get into "can't sleep, I'll just have a glass of wine to take the edge off", but I'm a bit more relaxed about it now because I didn't want to get into a headspace where I can't sleep unless I did all the things.

For me, planning for sleep starts at lunchtime, which is when I stop drinking coffee or anything else with caffeine in it. I avoid sugary "processed" drinks most of the time anyway, but I make a point of not drinking those after about 4pm.

I'm also fairly active, I cycle between 100 and 120 miles a week, and on the days I don't cycle to work it's a mile and a bit walk to the Tube station, a mile and a bit back in the evening. I usually try to get out and walk round the park at lunchtime. If I'm working from home I'll go out in the evening after work. I do a weights workout three times a week.

this is all timed for being in bed by 10PM.

I put all electronics into "night" mode at 9:30pm, which is my cue to stop looking at the electronics and start my winding down for bed routine, rather than an excuse to keep staring at the screens.

Night routine is:

  • drink a mug of sleepy tea

  • Clean teeth, do facial skincare routine

  • pyjamas

  • close curtains (I have blackout ones)

  • switch on an electronic diffuser that's loaded with a sleepy blend of oils

  • switch bedside alarm lamp to sunset mode, where it gradually dims to a tiny nightlight glow

  • get into bed, under weighted blanket

  • put phone out of reach but start a sleep meditation session (all the apps like Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer offer free versions)

  • My bedside alarm goes off at the same time every morning, even at weekends. It has a sunrise setting so half an hour before I'm due to wake up, it starts getting brighter and brighter, and then it plays birdsong at me.

  • When it's hot, I have a fan set up in the hallway outside my room so it's not right in the room being noisy, but I still get the air moving (I live on my own, so having my bedroom door open at night is fine).

  • If I wake in the night, or if I can't get to sleep, I lie there with my eyes closed, recognising that even if I'm not sleeping, I'm still resting. I don't reach for my phone and start scrolling through. If it is within half an hour of my normal wake up time, I get up and start the day.

  • I don't do lie-ins, once I'm awake for the day, I'm up and out of bed.

That sorted it for me, but if it hadn't worked, I'd have looked at herbal sleep remedies, if those hadn't worked, I'd have talked to a pharmacist for advice, and if what they had suggested didn't work, I'd have gone to my GP.

Some of the stuff in the list above involves spending money if you don't have them already (diffuser, oils, weighted blanket, blackout curtains, fancy alarm with sunrise/sunset setting). Fortunately, those are the "nice to haves" not the essentials. Sleepy teas are mostly cheap, although it might involve a small investment to find ones you like.

The important thing is that you start the routine at the same time each night, you start giving your body cues to wind down, you go to sleep in a room that's as dark as possible, you wake up at the same time each day. It takes time, it's not a one and done deal, it involves investing time and effort in yourself and recognising that even if one night is a "failure" you're probably sleeping more than you think you are, and that even just lying in bed with your eyes closed means you're still recuperating, and you try again tomorrow.

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This has been nurdling round in my brain for a bit, then I heard one of Belle Robertson's one minute audios that really helped clarify it.

Sober supports/tools can b split into five categories. You don't have to jump in with both feet and do all the things (although I do recommend doing food and sleep every day), but if your sobriety starts feeling a bit rocky, can you add in a new support? don't try harder, try different.

connection/group/you're not alone in this:

listening to sober audios/podcasts

face to face meetings, zoom meetings

reading other sober stuff (newsletters, blog, quit lit)

Self-soothing (calm calm calm things)

Going to bed (there's nothing like being under the duvet, in your pyjamas with your teeth cleaned for stopping a booze run)

Time with pets

treats

nice alcohol-free drinks

Treats planned in advance - bath, haircut, cookies

change the channel in your head

Music

A TV show/movie that you will get into

Going for a run/walk/bike ride

Yoga

Prayer, meditation

Self-care (these can blur into self-soothing, but to me, self-care items are the basics you need to stay alive)

Food

Shower

Exercise

Sleep

Accountability

Sober coach

addiction counsellor

Sponsor

Therapist

apps (in my first month, the knowledge that I'd have to reset three different trackers, and that I couldn't be arsed, kept me sober more than once).

I find cravings can be addressed with HALT the BS

am I Hungry Angry Lonely Tired or Thirsty Bored Stressed or Sad

if I work out which one of the above applies, and address that, then cravings will typically disappear.

6
 
 

Thought I would share some of the recommended quit lit and resources out there. This is not exhaustive - feel free to share any that worked for you!

  • This Naked Mind, Annie Grace
  • Alcohol Explained, William Porter
  • Quit Like a Woman, Holly Whitaker
  • Numerous books by Allen Carr

Huberman Labs Podcast: https://hubermanlab.com/what-alcohol-does-to-your-body-brain-health/

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So, yeah. It's been a few years sober now, so that is nice.

One thing I have noticed about myself is the actual existence of a personality. It wasn't a change that happened within the first few months of being sober, but over the following years.

Strangely enough, a bizarre trait is that if given the chance, I can talk about just about anything for hours. My saving grace is that I was always a repository for massive amounts of random information, but now, I can string all of that data together into coherent sentences then easily pivot into all related sub-topics and associated information on top of that.

I make a ton more off-the-cuff jokes now and I don't even know where they come from. It seems I have the ability to make people laugh, which I never thought possible.

Overall, my personality has become extremely broad these days and the above is just a couple of examples. One might say that I am a pleasant person to be around? (That is a very strange feeling, BTW.)

Has anyone else seen themselves or others go through massive personality shifts like I describe? I am not understating "massive". I surprise myself nearly every day with how intense I can get.

FWIW, I was an extremely heavy drinker when I quit and was about a year into serious dependency.

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Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

10
 
 

I'm looking to stop drinking again. Ive been drinking weekly 3 to 4 days a week. I drink mostly beer and seltzers. I only drink hard lq with a mixer. Pretty sure this is considered alcoholism and now I'm trying to stop

11
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

12
 
 

I (32m) went up to 76 days sober a few months ago. However once the summer weather hit, it was too tempting not to drink. The beach is a drinking spot for me as with outdoor bars. It's hard for me not to mix the summer with drinking. I have decided though that I will be trying a recovery center again and will not get kicked out for attendance like the other center I was attending. I definitely have a good amount of reasons to stop drinking again. Number one being my physical and mental health. My goal is to get fit and eat healthier which will involve cutting out drinking for sure. Anyways, can anyone relate that the summer triggers drinking a lot and how they not give into it?

13
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

14
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

15
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

16
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

17
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

18
 
 

Today marks 999 days sober for me. It's bittersweet, because while I'm very proud of my accomplishment, it reminds me of my actions that started this.

In hindsight, I think I've always been 'that' guy. I drank at every social function, I needed it to dance, at family events, and hanging out with friends. I was never the DD. I was always a little drunker than the next guy. I always said i love drinking too much to be an alcoholic. I tried to prove I could control myself by taking drinking 'breaks'. When Covid happened, I drank more, I was isolated, and I would argue with my wife more. I hid bottles so she wouldn't know how much I had. Well one night, 999 days ago we got into a heated argument while I was drunk, which turned physical. Took me about 10 seconds to realize I fucked up, and I immediately stopped, packed my shit, since she was kicking me out anyways.

I stayed in a hotel room that night and hardly slept wondering what my life would be like the next day, week, month, or year. The next morning, in my self-loathing, I decided to change, regardless of the outcome of my actions. I realized what happened was not one bad decision, but many over the course of my life, that I allowed to lead me to what had happened. I refused to allow what occurred to happen again.

I started a 'back to basics' program with AA the next day. Not drinking wasn't as hard as I thought it would be because I knew I owed it to my family. There were also activities that I associated with drinking, like BBQing that were hard get used to. I found other peoples stories at AA insightful and inspiring. AA itself was not for me. I didnt like the 'put your trust in a higher power', or 'if i could have done it myself i would have done it already'. I stopped attending meets after a few months. I think it's great for many people, just not for me.

I've thought about drinking again, but the truth is I will never be a 'normal' drinker. I would need a set of rules to follow, for various situations and the process of coming up with these rules and then actually sticking to them is daunting. It's easier for me to just not think about that, and not drink.

I don't want to glaze over the abuse part of this. My wife and I did reconcile, but it's been a hard, long road. I attended personal therapy for my anger issues, we attended couples therapy, and many changes have been made. In some ways, our relationship is better than before, but there's also a scar in it now, which will never fully heal. I own and regret that. While I'm proud of my accomplishments I'm also ashamed that I needed to hit rock bottom before I did anything about it.

19
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

20
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

21
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

22
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

23
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

24
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

25
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

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