this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2025
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Stop Drinking
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This is a place to motivate each other to control or stop drinking. It is also a place for non drinkers to discuss and share.
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Doctors have put numbers around what is considered excessive drinking, but the rule of thumb is that if you think you might have a problem, you probably do. TBH, this is for you to decide and it's an extremely serious question for you to think about on your own. ("Binge" drinking is defined as more than 4 or 5 drinks per night. Lulz wut? Rookie numbers. /s)
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. When I stopped, I was doing a 12 pack on week days, and much more on the weekends. Whatever my actual "numbers" were, I always drank till I blacked out. My life was basically centered around drinking time without me realizing it.
Probably the best thing to do first is see a doctor. Be open and honest about how much you drink and get a plan on how to stop. If you have crossed the threshold into physical alcohol dependency, quitting cold turkey can be dangerous. Get a medical assessment first, please.
Alcohol dependency can take years to develop. Intense cravings and "the shakes" are a good warning sign that you have crossed that boundary, but that may not always be the case.
While I am not a fan of twelve step recovery programs, they can work for some people. A a minimum, do some reading into A.A. and the 12 steps of recovery. At a minimum, those recovery steps may be a good barometer of how much of an alcoholic you are. (ie: are you in denial; how much of your life have you trashed because of booze; how many people have you hurt; etc, etc.) There are many recovery programs out there, so look around. The goal is to at least give you an idea of the ride you are in for if you are actually an alcoholic.
The whole 'number of drinks a week' thing is a bogus metric. You can go weeks without drinking and still have a problem.
I always liked to say that sober me wasn't an alcoholic; tipsy me was.
I never felt compelled to drink, or even a strong urge. I could usually have a beer or two and be fine, but every once in a while a switch would flip and I'd try to drink all the alcohol I could get ahold of.
Totally agree as alcoholism really is a self diagnosed issue in its early stages. As you called out, it starts exactly how you describe. You can stop for weeks with no side effects, but once you have that first drink, you are on a fucking mission to make up for lost time. Alcoholism just develops so many different ways for so many different people it can be confusing when trying to define it.
It's not that the drinks per day/week is a bogus metric, it's a logical average trajectory to become physically dependent over time. It may take years, but it's a possibility. Of course, everyone's physiology is different, so there is that.
Since we are talking about physical dependency and/or cravings, it was a slow path for me, but nearly an instant transition when I realized addiction had formed. When I stopped being able to solder wires together because my hands shook so much, that was a big clue. The cravings were not as sharp as nicotine can be, but it was deeper and more driven as a need to ease the late morning shakes. I couldn't physically function without downing a few glasses of wine before lunch.
I went for years with being able to stop for days as a time, until I couldn't. It was almost if I had crossed a very specific threshold, and I was stuck.
TBH, I am super glad you never felt compelled to drink and I would never wish that feeling on anyone. You saw the warning signs of alcoholism way before many do, so be proud of yourself for that.