this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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politics

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They called me and with tears in their eyes said, "Sir, thank you for taking this beautiful call. Sir, you have such a yuge, gargantuan penis so we need to make a deal."

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[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 63 points 3 months ago (6 children)

We're going to find out he's just been meeting with some random Chinese dude who lives in Ohio.

[–] doctortofu@reddthat.com 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Or a manager of a china (as in porcelain) shop. "Yeah, I'm the president of China... and fine dining utensils incorporated in Chattanooga Tennessee"

[–] JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 21 points 3 months ago

Four Seasons......

....

....

....

Total Landscaping. And then, the country elected him again.

[–] raltoid@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

With the way things are operating, I'm pretty sure you could get into the White House or Mar-a-Lago easily if a few people rolled up in a rented fancy towncar, suits, suitcase and someone to act as a translator.

[–] wildcardology@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

I remember mike pillow enthusiastically taking a live call thinking it was the orange garbage only to find out it's a troll.

[–] MuskyMelon@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

The illegitimate son of Puyi and rightful Emperor of Ghyna... Or that's just what his business card says.

[–] circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 3 months ago

They'd just give such a rando some actual position after the fact to save face

[–] Bogus007@lemm.ee 0 points 3 months ago

Perhaps with an Asian femboy 🤨

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Diplomatic backchannels are an idea that Trump is fundamentally unable to comprehend.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

China: "We haven't met yet"

China: <backchannels talks so they all get on the same page"

Trump: "China lies, we met this morning when they backchanneled their plans to replace the USD with me and I think it's a fine idea."

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago

"Backchannels? Sounds gay. I'll sign an Executive Order banning it."

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 31 points 3 months ago

Like I'm gonna believe anything he says. This guy was able to hide his own Easter Eggs from himself.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Sure donny… are the Chinese diplomats in the room with us right now?

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 3 months ago

Fucker mistook the Chinese takeout menu for minutes of their last meeting.

[–] inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Well they're at least listening in on the signal chat.

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So, we know thats not true.

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 months ago

There are at least some 30 million American voters who would believe Trump uncritically.

[–] RejZoR@lemmy.ml 18 points 3 months ago

Trump met his imaginary China diplomats in his imaginary meeting that happened "this morning".

Beijing is like 15 hours ahead of Washington, if meeting was "this morning", the Chinese would be discussing with Trump at like 11 in the evening or even later. I somehow find it hard to believe China could be bothered to discuss with Trump about his dumb shit so late in the day when they could be sleeping or watching a late evening movie with family lol

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They could totally Chinpokomon Trump.

[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Dibs on Shoe.

[–] just_another_person@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago
[–] vegeta@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

I.e. his covefe boy stopped for lunch at Panda Express

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 months ago

I'm starting to think that Trump is lying.

[–] SpicyLizards@reddthat.com 6 points 3 months ago

Definitely the most sane and stable

[–] 20cello@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Like kids at the kindergarten

[–] aramova@infosec.pub 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Ok someone needs to tell the failure-in-chief that getting his breakfast McDonalds brought by the underpaid Asian they brought in from his New Jersey golf course doesn't count as Chinese trade talks.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Had me in the first half, ngl.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml -1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Someone gave him a busy box. 👶

[–] blakenong@lemmings.world 1 points 3 months ago

I hope they get paid.