this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world 157 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

It's also arguably better without the caption at all

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 68 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I never understood the need of the whole "nobody"caption

[–] A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world 46 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think it was originally a shorthand to say "nobody asked for this to happen", but now it's a monkey-brain neuron-activation type thing that OPs can do to scream at other users "THIS IS A MEME"

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It's like the misuse of the POV, which should have remained what it is, the bad kind of porn where you don't see the guys hairy ass as he pounds away at the chick

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 2 points 1 week ago

Ironically the whole POV this is getting funnier when used wrong.

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 11 points 1 week ago

It's like a laugh track for memes. Yeah it's not really funny, but now people HAVE to laugh.

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well you see..

Nobody:

Whole internet:

Nobody:

Here’s a meme:

[–] misterdoctor@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

honestly by now my brain filters it out. i had to go back to the original post to play spot the difference for a second

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My brain can’t filter it out, it just gets mad. Like when I’m filling up my car and there’s ads at the pump. My partner filters them out and I’m like “AAAAA I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT TIKTOK LEAVE ME ALONE PUMP”

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I forgot about those awful fucking things. I really don't miss gas stations. I'd be tempted to take them out with a hammer if I didn't have an EV.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

Yah I had a hybrid before and loved not having to stop for fuel as much. I wanted an EV but I got Mitzu for an insane deal in 2019, an EV would have cost like 4-5x what she did. I’m hoping for an EV for my next car, but I hope I can keep her for a very, VERY long time.

I went to buy this model and accidentally went to the wrong dealer, and they had the same model for the same price but maxed out in features, the highest “trim level” or whatever. I realized my “mistake” when I got home and the model I was going to get was still on sale… and appeared to have water damage.

Love the subwoofer and glass roof hahaha

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Removed everything but the most essential elements:

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[–] trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It always happens when I'm wearing white. Shit gets stained too fast

[–] A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Hydrophobic clothes sounds like a cool idea, but a pain to wash I bet.

[–] MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

If you wash things that have been treated to be hydrophobic, eventually it'll wear off so you have to reproof it. If you ever wonder why an old waterproof jacket is starting to let water in, it'll be because you've washed it

So I wore my beautiful waxed canvas jacket for like five days without a shower. It really smelled. I threw it in the washer with other clothes and the bottom hem on one side got ripped and it's not as waterproof anymore. Listen to this person.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

People wash waterproof jackets? Like in a washing machine?

Just air that shit out if you really need to...

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Mine just says wash normally. I imagine it will eventually stop being so hydrophobic, but everything wears out

[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

washing machine : don't be such a hydrophobe

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[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

i swear white clothing is a magnet for tomato foods

[–] nihilist_hippie@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 week ago

I can tell the future based on what color of shirt I wear. If I wear a white shirt, I know I will probably eat spaghetti or pizza that day.

[–] rigatti@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

Nobody:

Nobody:

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hawaiian shirts are great for this

[–] starchylemming@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

kitchen camo?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

It's just called "customizing" if you wear paint splatter patterns.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 week ago
[–] Gingerlegs@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

oh gawd I swear being sloppy makes it taste better.

So I tend to tear up when I eat really hot temperature food and then I like to add a lot of chili paste and jalapenos to pho. So I end up crying in my soup. I look ridiculous but I just joke that I'm adding some salt.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Oh I feel seen.

I was underweight a few years ago, and while it was not entirely healthy, I was indulging in the look and found some XXS Tall pants, in a beautiful blush color. Felt like a fucking supermodel on my way to work. Bought a chai latte, spilled it all over the pants before I ever got to work.

Also coveted these white cropped pants. Got them, same sort of thing.

Decided I am not qualified for white pants.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 7 points 1 week ago

That's why I refuse to wear white, I put on a white shirt, turn around and there's a new stain on there somehow.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago
[–] TheTurner@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My wife any time she eats anything.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I didn't realize my wife was a bigamist

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

Mamma mia isa shea ghosta?

[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

My mom too. In fact I'm going to send this to her and then have an hour conversation about how she doesn't get it.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 6 points 1 week ago

I can fix her

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

When you want to buy a new shirt but after eating you already have one.

That's how you know it tastes good.

[–] El_guapazo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

It's like I'm eating with an egg beater.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Just FYI, if anyone just needs something with some flavor, you can always lick my beard. There's always sauce or something in it that I can't quite get with a napkin. 🤷🏻‍♂️

( ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago
[–] abbadon420@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

I also cum blood sometimes

[–] theedqueen@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Me with a muffin or cupcake. Crumbs everywhere.

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