this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
2 points (100.0% liked)

4chan

4933 readers
2 users here now

Greentexts, memes, everything 4chan.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 14 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

"Shit, man, shit shit shit."

"Steve man. Calm the fuck down. What's wrong?"

"It's a customer, man."

"Please tell me they didn't take an orange from the bottom of the stack again."

"No, no. Worse. So much worse. He's buying the boule."

"Ha. You had me worried for a minute. Nobody buys the boule. You misheard."

"No, man, I'm telling you. He asked where it was. I made him repeat the question. He said again he wanted the 'sourdough boule.' He's got it in his cart now."

"...You're serious."

"Yes, man. He's about to fucking buy the boule."

"Shit, man. What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. I- I don't know. This has never happened before."

"We have to alert them."

"Them?"

"You know, them."

"Wh- you mean the simulation people?"

"You got a better idea?"

"Yeah, maybe drinking bleach. Not to mention we have no way to con-"

"H-hello? Um... Sim- simulation people? Um-"

"What the fuck are you doing, Ted? You fucking dipshi-"

"Yes?"

"..."

"..."

"Steve... you... you heard that, ri-"

"I don't have all day. What is it?"

"Shit, um."

"Yes sir, um, Mister Simulator sir, I-"

"Missus."

"Oh, um, sorry, the voice is just kindof... tinny an-"

"Look, we've got a problem. It's one of the... simulated."

"Mmm hmm?"

"He's on his way to the checkout now."

"And?"

"He's buying the boule."

"Mmm. Right. Thank you for alerting me. This anomaly will be dealt with."

"Oh. Um. O...kay. Um. Thank yo-"

"Wait, how exactly will it be deal-"

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This reads like They're Made Out of Meat. It's brilliant.

[–] perspectiveshifting@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Thanks for the recommendation! Here's the short story mentioned if anyone else wants a read: https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat.html

[–] pubertthefat@lemm.ee 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This American Life had H Jon Benjamin perform this, episode 803.

[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 1 points 8 months ago

That sounds amazing

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

the bread is real. what you arent seeing is the removal of the unsold products that are almost certainly being donated to homeless shelters and hog farmers, then replaced with fresh loaves the next day. there are fda rules in place to prevent leaving such products out more than a couple days.

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I m French and in France we buy EVERY bread in a bakery .for real after 5pm you have basically nothing .

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

The French sure do love their

[–] Kyatto@leminal.space 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Sometimes I buy the bread lol. The bread just gets made into other things if nobody buys it. Sliced after the first day, made into croutons the day after or a number of other bread goodness like garlic bread or used to make those pre-packed subs, etc. Or it's just tossed cause bread is cheap and making at the scale they make it makes it even cheaper.

By the way, if you have even a passing interest I recommend baking your own bread, unless you want sourdough and you don't want to spend that effort cause sourdough is next level effort. But a basic white bread is extremely easy and tastes so good fresh and lasts for soooo much longer than the store made breads.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

In all my years I've never walked into a friends home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia.

Well then your friends suck

[–] mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub 1 points 8 months ago

"Hey, man! Glad you could make it! Can I get you anything? Some chips, some pretzels, an entire baguette, maybe some iced tea or something?"

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Ok but if you see sliced croissant loaf, fucking buy that shit, buy two, immediately. I don't even like to shop any more at places where they don't sell it.

[–] Shapillon@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago (1 children)

disgusted French look of superiority

jkjk it looks like something terrible in a good way.

[–] logos@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago

Cause it's probably 3/4 butter.