this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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[–] slakje@piefed.social 89 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

There are probably a couple of them who would be envious that they didn’t have the opportunity while they were alive. (Not a defense of AI girlfriends, just a joke and semi-relevant meme)

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 52 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

A lot of people have commented on how Ben Franklin would love porn, trans women, modern voluntary sterilization, etc., but I'm just gonna come out with a hot take: Ben Franklin would fucking love cocaine. Really all modern stimulants. If there's a heaven he's up there doing lines off some chick's dick discussing her PhD dissertation. This is a man who would be fucking pissed that the nation he helped found has created Adderall shortages by restricting supplies. He'd demand healthcare be in the bill of rights for that reason alone.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

If you brought Ben Franklin into the modern world you'd lose him within a couple hours then find him again in Goodsprings NV hungover and missing his pants.

Edit: If you read NV as New Vegas and not Nevada you need to turn off the 500+ modded semi corrupt New Vegas install and go read Blood Meridian or something.

[–] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You can pry my 500+ modded semi corrupt TTW install from my cold, dead paws.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

Go read Blood Meridian profligate.

[–] minimum@mander.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Wait a minute, Goodsprings is a real place? 😮

Does it often get attacked by boomers irl too?

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Boomers are the ones at Nelson. The convicts are the Powder Rangers. Go play New Vegas the psychoindoctrination hasn't settled in yet

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Was he into stimulants, too!?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The stimulants available to a north American of his time were wildly popular at the time in the british colonies and it's difficult to imagine him not partaking in either of them. Thst said, they were coffee and tea, both of which remain legal here to this day, and we even scrapped the extra tax on tea.

Franklin died in 1790. Cocaine was first isolated in 1859 and it looks like coca wasn't really available in the global north until around that time. That said, upon the arrival of cocaine, the USA put that shit in everything. We loved the stuff

[–] Pieisawesome@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Tobacco products were also very popular. Snuff being popular among rich people.

Coca was used as a drug (documented) in 1568.

Additionally laudanum and opium we’re also popular, but they aren’t stimulants afaik.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I also forgot about mate because I'm a bad American and forgot about my continent's native stimulants. Tobacco was common but not in the way it was in the 20th century. It was more tasted than inhaled.

But yeah I did a quick search and it looked like coca wasn't widely traded with the anglosphere until the 19th century

[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago

He also might break down crying at the fact that we eliminated smallpox. He did the variolation thing, but his son didn't and he died of smallpox. Franklin deeply regretted not having him do it.

Then tell him that there's a whole movement of people who sees the tech that eliminated smallpox as a bad thing. That's where he's going to get deeply disappointed with us.

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Madison Cawthorn? The gun-toting sex-pest who got caught driving without a license Madison Cawthorn?!

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

The same one who claimed he was invited to cocaine fueled Republican orgies.

After that claim his political career tanked. I don't know why.

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[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm sending her money so she can meet me at the airport tomorrow! She's fleeing...!

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Good friend. It's me, her acquantince she mentioned once. She asked me to reach out that ran into trouble and needs $2000 sent to this crypto address 4837DDJFRJFHDH34SDTODUVJS in the next 12 hours or she's going to die and you'll be arrested and I'll need $5k to that address to protect you.

[–] BootLoop@sh.itjust.works 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Thanks for the key, it activated Windows 11 for me

[–] msage@programming.dev 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Sick, it activated my Linux, too!

[–] too_high_for_this@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

It's also a WinRAR license key

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[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 30 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

How the fuck do people do it? Like is there something else more wrong with me?

It says it's AI. It reads like an AI. I'm desperately lonely too, but it doesn't remotely come close to even a hint of being a real person.

Maybe it's the user interface? The constant awareness of the AI girlfriend URL?

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

When I play videogames, I know I'm not ACTUALLY driving a racecar, but I still have fun.

[–] DarkSpectrum@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I think it has something to do with the person needing something other than a human relationship. Its like those lifesize dolls that some guys are into. They meet needs that are different to a human relationship.

[–] NeonNight@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I really think it’s people craving a non-threatening, no-stakes “intimate” relationship

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[–] bigchungus@piefed.blahaj.zone 27 points 2 weeks ago

If you were the result of your bloodline, they would not be watching from heaven.

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The concept of a bloodline is incoherent.

Since the number of direct ancestors doubles every generation you go back, individual lineage is closer to a bowl of spaghetti than a family tree.

Every generation you go back, you share less and less genetic markers. You share exactly 50% of your DNA with each parent, about 25% with each grandparent etc. Eventually you'll find a direct ancestor with whom you share no DNA markers. It's 12 generations back, on average.

So, go back a few hundred years, and you're not genetically related to anybody. Go back a thousand, and everyone's list of ancestors is indistinguishable.

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

...So you're saying it's OK to fuck my cousin

[–] Pringles@sopuli.xyz 13 points 2 weeks ago

If he's okay with it, I don't see any issues.

[–] Capricorn_Geriatric@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Depends on how far removed the cousin is. Literally.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Nice, she moved like 1,000 miles away, so it's SO on next family reunion!

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[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

That's assuming you have a family tree and not a family column.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

99.5% of your bloodline probably thinks this is a great idea and is excited to meet your kids.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

That tracks, my current living bloodline doesn't understand the AI isn't real.

[–] SugarCatDestroyer@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Children are a luxury, and having children is not profitable now.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Don't know if it's better or worse than me jacking off for 4 hours. Regardless my ancestors would probably fully understand. They'd still be disappointed for a myriad of reason.

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 5 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

How does one jack for 4 hours?

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

Autism and being descended from some very horny people.

[–] kadotux@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Its possible to do sober you just gotta be a little fucky in the head

[–] Alteon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

He is the Goonmaster. The chosen one, prophesized by the ancients, to save us from a dark evil. By his hand, he will lead us into salvation. Praise be /u/vaultdweller013! May his sword remain strong, and his hand firm, for dark days be ahead of us.

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[–] SuspiciousCatThing@pawb.social 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

AI girlfriends are good for helping with that.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

They absolutely wouldn't be, I'm aromantic hypersexual. I don't need thine petty emotions for such acts. Also I won't lower myself to the level of speaking to the inbred cousins of Bonzi buddy.

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[–] individual@toast.ooo 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

no ones entire bloodline is white males

[–] winkerjadams@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Yea but the rest don't get into heaven

[–] elbiter@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

So Heaven is a gay bar...

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[–] Klear@quokk.au 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago

Tay will be my one and only. RIP. Gone but not forgotten

[–] SugarCatDestroyer@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You have given in to your inner animal and your weakness very strongly, and therefore you will have to repent very sincerely lol. :3

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character ai, chai, dopple or polybuzz?

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