this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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A trans parent would likely still want to be called "Mom" or "Dad", I assume. At least that's the case with the few trans parents I know.

Parents don't usually use "daughter" or "son" as pronouns, so I don't think it would come up with non-binary children.

Do children of non-binary parents call their parents by their first name? It seems unlikely that they say "Parent, may I please have more screen time?".

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[–] Snailpope@lemmy.world 91 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 week ago

'nit for short

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

Beep boop robo-Clay approves.

[–] throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works 70 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Obviously it combines Mother and Father, or: M'F'er

🤭

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Isn't that technically all biological dads?

[–] throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The existence of the term "biological dad" implies the existence of an "artificial dad"

[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Adopted dads are technically artificial dads.

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[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 66 points 1 week ago (2 children)

One of my friends has a mom and a nom. Works well enough.

[–] josefo@leminal.space 9 points 1 week ago

Short for mother and nother?

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 62 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] Hegar@fedia.io 25 points 1 week ago

Sometimes I miss australia.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago

That would be fun at parent-teacher conferences!

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemm.ee 10 points 1 week ago

I should call her.

[–] cobwoms@lemmy.blahaj.zone 57 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

my son calls me baba. i've met other enby parents that use the same term. i originally heard it on blues clues lol

[–] Thavron@lemmy.ca 31 points 1 week ago

Baba Is You!

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago

That's very cute!

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 56 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Honored Ancestor" and "Blessed Forebear" are always appropriate.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Much respectful. So parent.

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[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm not nonbinary but my son just calls me Michael.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 57 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Which is odd because your name is Darrell.

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

What about his brother Darrell?

[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

That cracked me up lol

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[–] mortimer@lemmy.world 44 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (5 children)

They use a mixture of "MOM" and "DAD" and call them "MAD".

Just a silly joke. I have no opinion.

[–] MerrySkeptic@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago (2 children)

No you have it backwards, it's DOM. As in, "I was bad so my dom had to punish me."

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[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

"mather" or "fother"

[–] DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 week ago

I've heard "Mawpaw" for a bigender person before which sounds kind of delightfully southern.

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[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago

My friend's father transitioned to a woman but she kept calling her "Dad". Not to invalidate her identity just that they were both happy to continue describing their relationship with that term.

[–] 56_@lemmy.ml 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I read the title as a programming question at first...

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)
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[–] aseriesoftubes@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago

I’d imagine that this is something that varies from family to family.

[–] DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Very individualized as per need. Non-binary is an umbrella term for a whole bunch of different situations so what feels right is going to be very different for someone who feels like say a mix of masculine and feminine versus someone who has dysphoric reactions to any and all gender markers. It's going to be different for someone whose identity is more static than say someone who fluidly bounces between extremes.

If you know someone who is non-binary that's essentially just the tip of the iceberg of a whole discussion about how they personally interact with their body or the culture of gender. A lot of people seem to treat it as a full stop third category which can actually be a disservice to a non-binary person because it oftentimes just leads to a lot of new assumptions and frames out some of the ways they could be better treated than just as automatically genderless. I've heard of mixes of Mom/Dad for bigender people, just Mom or Dad for trans masc/femme folk, Completely new words that do not have cultural baggage, or just "my parent". It's not a one size fits all situation.

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

I appreciate the thoughtful reply.

[–] VinesNFluff@pawb.social 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The words "mom" and "dad" are both derived from baby babble, syllables babies have an easy time making.

I therefore suggest that an enby parent should be a child's wawa

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I like this. It would be awesome to be named after a gas station chain.

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[–] WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 week ago

“Commander”

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

If I were a nonbinary parent, I’d definitely go with “elder”.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

People will think you’re Mormon

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[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

so I don't think it would come up with non-binary children

You'd be surprised 😅

[–] clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I just mean that I don't often hear parents addressing their kids as "Son" except in '50s media! I'm sure it happens.

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd say go Borg and be 1 of 3

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[–] jbk@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

and what about enby grandparents?

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Grandy seems an easy choice.

[–] Yermaw@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I was wondering the other day why gran is always the grandma not the grandpa

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[–] deur@feddit.nl 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Probably depends on the kid. In the right house with the right mindset I bet parents could use first names. Otherwise it will probably be a special word to all of them, maybe something the kid calls them one day that sticks.

Maybe the parents will look to the internet or peers for answers and get stuff like "guardian" "my other parent" etc but ultimately the real question you should ask is how a child addresses their two same-gendered parents, maybe there's something to contexutalize there.

[–] YexingTudou@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago

I was going to say it's definitely a case by case basis and what both parents and kids are comfortable with. With same-gender couples, I've often seen with my friends using two different gendered honorifics, like "mom" and "mama" or "dad" and "papa".

With trans people, often times it depends on when they came out. If before the child was born, or they were really young, I know a lot of parents will switch what they use, but for many people the title becomes something beyond gender. I've met a trans woman who transitioned later in life and was still "dad" to her kids because her role as a dad didn't invalidate her gender as a woman. In the same vein, I've known nonbinary folk who have kept "mom" or "dad" after coming out, went with a less traditional title, or even just made one up either something fun and ungendered (think something like "babi"). I've also heard people just using a diminutive of they're name, like rather than the kid saying "my parent, Sam" it becomes "my Sammy".

The fun thing about language is that it changes to fit the needs of people and groups, so we can just make it up as we go!

[–] sga@lemmings.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i am not sure, but what i think i read somewhere is "ren" (as in pa"ren"t), so you would go like my ren dropped me to school or something.

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