Tell you that your social media manager is overdoing it

Probably talk about programming languages.

Get on my knees and offer myself to be your sub

Take you out to dinner, then see about the rest.

id cry about how much i miss my wife, snot bubbles and everything. i might even shit my pants out of sadness, id just be a blubbery mess, covered in shit, tears, and at that point, likely piss as well. my longing knows no bounds.

i love my wife. i dont even like blinking when im around her because it takes time away from viewing her eternal beauty and splendor.

id probably ask you for a napkin and maybe a platonic ride home.

Probably say hello and introduce myself. It seems to be the norm

Tease you just right!