About Lemmy not being much better, if that's not a bother to you, I'd suggest looking for another instance. Or if the ban was in a remote instance, to look for communities in other instances (or even make your own communities if you'd be willing to moderate).
And if Lemmy the environment overall attracts some problematic crowds, maybe check Friendica, Mbin and/or PieFed? Latter two are to my knowledge fully compatible with Lemmy communities, and apparently Friendica is too, albeit organized a bit differently.
Since I joined in here, I could tell certain instances could be problematic, but also that ActivityPub allows for a great deal of alternatives and oxygenating the social environment. So while packing your things to find a better place can be annoying, it's still the best option, I think, given the nature of the protocol.
