No need, it's already part of it and has been for centuries.
Remember how the Catholic church raped kids and protected pedophiles? It's not just Catholicism.
this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2026
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Also many of The other denominations too
A lot of people don't know this but the Ghost that banged Mary was only 12.
What
But it's okay because it was actually incest
i mean, the catholics managed
If the Pope can figure it out, so can you.
This is the purpose confession serves
Numbers 31:17-18 KJV
Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
Numbers is good but for the very best ultra-violence I suggest Deuteronomy
Deut. 21:18-21
18 If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death.
As Jesus intended ~/s~
Most all ready believe that as long as a child is marry, its legal…
Literally zero friction integrating pedophilia into traditional Christianity
literally zero friction
There's a joke in there, but I'll go to Hell if I make it.
I mean, if the Evangelical Christians are going to Heaven - I’d rather go to hell
You know what they say: Go to Heaven for the atmosphere, go to Hell for the company
Also, if the Biblical god existed, supporting or worshiping it would be an incredibly immoral thing to do. Yahweh is perhaps the most vile and evil character in all of literature. It's hard to imagine anything more evil.
I'd go for the music alone
Chicago kicks ass!
Have you read the Bible? Harems, concubines, child brides, slavery, women shouldn’t speak, etc…
Have you read the Bible?
Evangelical Chriatians:
As a former evangelical Christian I can assure you that any average one of them can only be said to have read the bible in the same way that I could be said to have read my favorite cook book. If that.
This is brilliant
That’s insightful, thank you.
As someone who did read the full book years ago when going to school and remembers fuckall in it except how repetitive and boring the Old Testament was, this helps me understand their approach of picking and choosing scripture.
At first I though this wasn't a shitpost.
Then I thought shitposts have evolved into what would previously have been called cutting, brilliant satire. Then I thought that fascists killed satire, and this is just straight-up news.
Finally I realized this is indeed a shitpost and should have just thought "Yeah, heh." And be done with it.
"Well God can use 'imperfect people'. Just look at King David."
How that story actually went...
David: Has an affair with Bathsheba and has her husband assassinated.
God: "Listen here you little shit. I gave you everything you could ever want and you decided that wasn't enough. I'm feeling merciful so I won't kill you like you killed Uriah. Instead, you can spend the rest of your miserable life suffering the consequences of your evil deeds."
Yes, instead he tortures David's innocent child to death for a week for David's crime. And no punishment at all for the 200 philistine foreskins or any other of David's immoral behaviour
How old do you think the Virgin Mary was?
Old enough to be considered a woman, but culturally it could have been as young as 16.
When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! (Luke 1:41-42)
There wasn't consent though. It can be spun that way, but biblically Mary was destined to carry, and screw any free will.
She did consent though. It's in the account.
Yes. I can absolutely be spun that way, as I said. As most anything in the Bible can be. Let me ask this then. Could she have said no? And when would that have happened?
Are we really debating the sky wizard role playing game book?
No, just debating which set of rules we're playing by.
Could have been as young as 13, as Virgin generally meant not ready for sex yet.
however it is a misconception that people married and had kids young in the past. generally it was in your early 20s even in antiquity
She was called a woman by her cousin who was so old that John the Baptist's birth was miraculous. She could have been older, not all women married young. But to be considered a woman she wouldn't have been 13.
Pedophilia is already part of the Bible, is it not?
I’m pretty sure pedofilia is a problem in most religions. That’s why I choose no religion