Not prepared to take that chance…

Every power tool I pick up has a quick vroom-vroom before I use it properly, just like the tongs. It’s tradition.

You're convinced? So you haven't actually confirmed it? Still can't resist the test clack even with this hypothesis?

The click is not for the clacker, it is for the cook.

Sorry, no. Non-clickertation of the clackers is one of the leading causes of early clackers declickeration. Clickeration of the clackers warns of problems early, when maintenance can be applied to the clackers before ongoing misaligned clickeration can have catastrophic effects on your clackers. Remember the old saying: Nine clicks is a fine thing.

The test clicks are so you get an accurate feel for the spring tension. It's not the end of the world if you don't do it, but you're more likely to drop something.

It's a sign we all yearn to be a crab.

I'm almost afraid to ask, but what are clackers? All I could find is the 1960's children's toy with two balls on a string. But that can't be it, can it?

You've clearly never grilled.