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[–] 17 points 2 days ago* (1 child)

I was pushed so hard that I built a complete "normal human behavior simulator" that saved me from being a nonverbal wreck. What I did is nothing short of amazing, but it's a product of tremendous abuse and internal struggle that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. How can I encourage someone else to endure as I did, to hope for the miraculous outcome I got? It seems unethical. I'd rather turn and attack the people putting that pressure on them.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 day ago

    A couple days ago I was with my mom and brother and she started talking about how she would check my grades in high school every day to make sure I wasn’t “gaming the system” by only doing enough to get a B in all my AP/honors classes she pushed me toward. As I started to recall all the pressure I was under to succeed for a future I couldn’t comprehend and had no plans of my own for, and the isolation I felt at home because I hadn’t been allowed to get out of the house myself before high school and why would that change, I started dissociating in her kitchen. Then I realized that’s what I would do in high school as well, and recognized the same “human simulator” layered on top of that. Now that I’ve had a decade away from all that to actually figure myself out to some degree I’m realizing I have a whole bunch of repressed stuff from that time that I should probably process. It’s lame.

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