I once sponsored the bail for a person of Polish descent I know (via a bondsman). The bondsman left me a voicemail to say, in nicer terms, the person had better show up in court or else.

The voicemail opened with "hi, I'm calling for ... Oh, I'm going to mess this up ... "

His business card titled him "The Butcher" so I'm disappointed he didn't say "oh, I'm going to butcher this."