Was walking my dog downtown and he stopped to drink from a dog bowl in front of a bar and I was like “Oh, are you a thirsty little boy?” And a grown-ass man sitting there said “i guess I am,” as he took a sip of his beer and then he realized I was not talking to him and looked completely horrified
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[–] 5 points 2 days ago* (1 child)

My cat was hiding in a bush near my front door, peeping at me when I got home from work. I call her nasty names like goblin, creature, monster, and fatso all the time because she can't understand me. I said to my cat "Whatchu looking at bitch?" And my neighbour looks up over the fence at me.

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