this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2025
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Got 8 Google Minis around the house, mostly ceiling mount. First ad that comes out that removed mouth, I'm taking a 12-gauge to every motherfucking one of them, patch the roof later.
You sir, and I say this with no hyperbole; are a hero.
🎵I got a shotgun, and here's the plot,
Takin' Minis out with a flurry of buck shot,
Boom, boom, boom! Yeah, I was gunnin',
And then you look, all you see is Googles runnin',
And fallin' and yellin' and pushin' and screamin',
And cussin', I stepped back and I kept bustin'🎶
Dude stop. There only so awesome I can think you are. Fucking legend.
Im sure they'll try to get you to order ammo as they explode.
<pump-action sound>
"How's your supply of shells? Winchester is having a blowout sale on 00-buck. To learn more..."
"Further work from our user experience team has resulted in several recommendations, including revising the Google Mini for the North American market to add a Kevlar layer to the case and using data from the accelerometer to treat an abrupt, rapid acceleration with a threshold above a certain level as "undesirable behavior/behavior needs improvement" user feedback to Alexa+'s prior prompt response."