I don't have personal experience with SA, nor am I homophobic. I'm pansexual myself. It isn't at all a false equivalence to say that there's a real difference in insult between telling someone to give you a haircut and telling someone to suck your dick. They are both services, but the latter draws stigma from historical sexism and homophobia. Using dicksucking as an insult affirms that history of bigotry, when in reality we should be fighting the negative stigma surrounding sexuality from women and gay men.

This might come as a surprise, but I'm not glued to Lemmy.

So it sounds like you're trying to say what people think socialism is changes from place to place. That's generally true for most political concepts, but that doesn't mean there isn't an actual consistent and correct definition. Even in the west, the idea that socialism is just social programs isn't an absolute, people are quite capable of understanding that it's when public ownership is the principle aspect of the economy and the working class is control.

As for me, I am a Marxist-Leninist, sure. I don't see what you mean by saying I'm "not a socialist, at best I'm a Marxist." Marxism is historically the most significant branch of socialism, alongside anarchism, I don't see how Marxism could be considered not socialist. I also don't "defend dictators."