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One of the only things a romantic interest that ever told me that made me feel better about my body was just an unironic "You're beautiful".
Because, like, I'm a dude and was kind of desensitized to people platonically telling me I was handsome when I was clearly slumming it. But when this woman said I was beatiful I kind of believed it because she wasn't just talking about my face. It was more something she thought I was doing.
Basically I'll be riding that high the rest of my life, if you have male friends and they aren't insecure about gender then tell them they're beautiful. It feels different.
You were probably half-joking about this, but yes, you will.
Not even joking about it. It shaped the sort of man I want to be.
Nah, men are pretty well aware that we won't be receiving any affection in life. We savor what we can get.
Want to build on this with my own opinions: we're usually taught that handsome is the word for men and beautiful is for women, but to me 'Handsome' = 'pretty' and yet handsome =/= beautiful. Beautiful is of course > pretty and < gorgeous in intensity, and yet it is important to use the full range of beautifying words so that it feels more authentic for your partner. If you have a lot to say rather than just one compliment, someone will feel more uplifted by yoir remarks
So: If i'm in acts of intimacy with someone else, I as a man would appreciate a "you're beautiful" more than a "you're handsome".
'Handsome' is a more casual thing to say - to deliver a " you're handsome," grab a guys face like he's a cute puppy and you're going "WHO'S A GOOD BOY?!" Or deliver it when you're giving someone a small kiss goodbye, or a quick random hug. But we need more than one word to describe how attractive we are, for authenticity.
It's also kind of desensitised as a word because it's what moms and grandmothers say to us. Ergo, if you want to express the sexual beauty of a man, hit him with a 'beautiful' rather than a handsome.
And there aren't really any words that can only be used for one gender and not the other. Though some people will be taken aback by it, at first. You can call men pretty, you can call women handsome.
Ohh yeah good points. There was a lot of context in my story missing but I didn't know how recount it without being mega cringe.
Yeah complimenting people's choices instead of complimenting their features is the crux of it.
Home girl's compliment got to me because she was commenting on things she liked that I did, not ways that I just inherently was.