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Want to build on this with my own opinions: we're usually taught that handsome is the word for men and beautiful is for women, but to me 'Handsome' = 'pretty' and yet handsome =/= beautiful. Beautiful is of course > pretty and < gorgeous in intensity, and yet it is important to use the full range of beautifying words so that it feels more authentic for your partner. If you have a lot to say rather than just one compliment, someone will feel more uplifted by yoir remarks
So: If i'm in acts of intimacy with someone else, I as a man would appreciate a "you're beautiful" more than a "you're handsome".
'Handsome' is a more casual thing to say - to deliver a " you're handsome," grab a guys face like he's a cute puppy and you're going "WHO'S A GOOD BOY?!" Or deliver it when you're giving someone a small kiss goodbye, or a quick random hug. But we need more than one word to describe how attractive we are, for authenticity.
It's also kind of desensitised as a word because it's what moms and grandmothers say to us. Ergo, if you want to express the sexual beauty of a man, hit him with a 'beautiful' rather than a handsome.
And there aren't really any words that can only be used for one gender and not the other. Though some people will be taken aback by it, at first. You can call men pretty, you can call women handsome.
Ohh yeah good points. There was a lot of context in my story missing but I didn't know how recount it without being mega cringe.
Yeah complimenting people's choices instead of complimenting their features is the crux of it.
Home girl's compliment got to me because she was commenting on things she liked that I did, not ways that I just inherently was.