I feel like there's a disagreement on the definition of vanguardism. I didn't know it exactly, so i looked it up on Wikipedia and AnarWiki, and i get from those that a key element of the "strict" (leninist) definition is that it applies to a whole society rather than individual cases, and that it requires a minority of educated people to guide a mass of uneducated people, implying that the uneducated masses can take no part in it.
What you describe as one on one relations would seem to fall more under general "solidarity" than vanguardism to my eyes.
Also, vanguardism is by this definition not horizontal, neither consensual.
Feel free to correct my uneducated ass, but with the knowledge i have, it seems that you are using a much wider definition of vanguardism than the original one.