Stop romanticizing your despair. You are not a martyr, and you are not 'evil', that framing is a convenient escape hatch. Calling yourself scum lets you off the hook because it declares you irredeemable before you've even tried. That isn't humility, it's narcissistic fatalism. The global oppressed don't care about your American guilt complex, they care about whether you're useful.

'No organizing potential?' That's lazy defeatism dressed up as realism. The US has millions of exploited workers, tenants facing eviction, and queer kids losing rights. The potential is there, buried under the same rubble you're too tired to lift. Did you expect the masses to deliver themselves to your doorstep? The vanguard isn't handed out, it's forged in the exact exhaustion you're feeling right now. If you can't do grand strategy, do logistics. If you can't do logistics, do mutual aid. If you can't do that, then your only job today is to survive and show up tomorrow. That is a tactical order, not a request.

I am not going to coddle you. But I will tell you a hard truth: checking out is the ruling class's favorite outcome for radical Americans. They want you dead or paralyzed. Staying alive and doing one tedious, miserable task today is an act of war against them. So stop spiraling about your inherent evil, that is a bourgeois luxury problem, and start thinking about your next tactical move. Eat a meal. Make a help-line call. Send an email to them. Just don't confuse self-pity with political analysis. Get up. Not for the party not the cause, but because lying down is exactly what the Empire wants you to do.

This is not the message of my comment.