CW: religious trauma etc.
I still think about whether I should tell the truth to my mother. Like "I don't believe our religion is the truth." (religion is a cult)
She does seem like she knows I don't believe anymore. She asks that sometimes but I always deflect. It's obvious tbh. She doesn't seem the type of mother to kick me out of the house due to change of beliefs but she would tell other people. I love her a lot but she could do that.
It would be a clean break if she did. People in this cult would stop talking to me. Some have already cut me off due to how "weak" and "unresponsive to God" I look. Even some that I've known for years. Never had a true friend, I suppose.
I'm not really asking for advice on whether I should tell the truth to her or not. You don't know my mother nor me so whatever happens is my decision. I could always just bid my time and fade slowly. However long that is and however many lies I have to tell. Lying hurts.
Really, it's just venting about how funny it is that other revolutionaries did so many things under the threat of death and I'm here afraid of talking to my mother.
I remember when I finally woke up a year ago and I wrote in my diary "Today God died in my heart". Well, I think his corpse is still there. A false idol that was there since my birth.
Well anyways, thanks for reading. I'm still gonna have my life. I hope so.
(Also, I am aware that not all religions are like this. I'm an atheist not a reddit atheist)
I grew up in a very religious Catholic family, and I used to participate a lot in church activities. In my early teenage years I even participated in the Catholic youth and had a lot of friends there. In my late teenage years I started moving away from the Catholic Church and adopting more like a atheist/agnostic stance. I stopped going to the church for a while, and spent many years without going to it. But to my family, I always remained Catholic, even though they know I am not very close to the church anymore and even refused to take part in some specific rites (like confirmation). Nowadays I'm kinda reconciled with the Catholic community (my wife is Catholic as well and my daughter studies in a Catholic school), but I don't have a theist view. But I'm not a militant atheist/agnostic, so it doesn't matter.
So, I'd say is, you don't have to disconnect with everyone, your family, your friends, all because of your views or your (lack of) faith. I would even say you should keep a bridge with all of them, even after you (ever) become financially independent (this is getting harder these days, though).
Keep in mind that Brazilian Catholics are way more progressive than evangelicals or most protestants in Brazil or the US. And I'm from the same home city where Dom Helder Câmara was a bishop, and Paulo Freire was born. So going to a mass or even participating in some church events never felt like torture. On the contrary. The thing that still keeps in the church (even though I don't consider myself a believer) is seeing some shining examples of the best human beings I've met in my life. Some even very based.
Yeah, the thing is not that I want to disconnect (even though I really don't want to be part of any religion) but it's that my religion is an American religion.
So getting untethered by the formal way would mean that my friends and family would need to stop talking to me.
Like, I would stop being treated as a human being. No talking and no interaction beyond strictly necessary.
I added the text in the parenthesis in the post because I agree with you: some religious people that I know are truly amazing. But there's no tradition in my church, no donations to the poor etc.
It's just so empty. I liked Commiejones suggestion, so I don't think I'll dissociate by the formal way. It would be giving legitimacy to this religion.
I think I wrote a wall of text but I actually agree with Commiejones. I mean maintain all your relationships with your family and friends, but you don't need to explicitly say to all of them that you don't believe anymore. If your case is one where you still depend financially on your family, one more reason to not handle it in a explicit way if talking about it out loud could mean any kind of harm inflicted upon you.
The only reason you'd want to stay away from them is if feel under threat, like if you are in some kind of cult, that requires you to do something you disapprove or if you are under some forn of threat (like sexual abuse).
Like I said, even not agreeing with the Vatican, or even not believing in god in a literal sense, I still go to the church and act as part of the community because it does not feel like a burden to me. Today I'm not a part of any of the church social movements, and don't feel any pressure to go to the mass every weekend, but I still go every now and then and still take part in some events.