Part of me keeps wanting to mention that a family member has cancer, but it's like... what do you say? It's this agonizingly slow process relative to how awful the condition is (almost certainly made worse by how profit-driven the US healthcare system is). They are old enough and the stage of cancer bad enough that their chances don't look great to me, but I feel like I'm supposed to stay optimistic anyway and the doctor(s) are trying to treat them with chemo, so that's something. But it still isn't clear what exactly the plan is in the long-term. From most recent information I have, they still don't have full biopsy results; they had to send stuff out of state to get it fully analyzed, which is apparently not entirely abnormal, I guess if it's not straightforward to analyze for one reason or another. And then there is the helping with caregiving part while things are ongoing, which puts into sharp relief every pre-existing disjointed family dynamic, is taxing in general, and is made harder by not knowing how long it's going to go on and in what form. Meanwhile, the condition and/or medications can cause new complications, so there isn't even a normal.

I'm being somewhat vague about how I describe it on purpose for better anonymity, but the gist is it sucks and nothing prepares you for it. It's been one surreal day after another with no end in sight. And I have this recurring thought that is maybe a bit doomer but it goes something like, "This is just the beginning, isn't it? We may actually be dealing with this during a better time than it could be. If things start going domino effect with fuel costs and so on, it could be way worse." But it's not like a "I'm grateful for what it is" thought, it's more like, this feels like a preview of decline, not the real thing. They are at least getting care, but what if the healthcare system gets worse? The primary observation so far is just how understaffed / stretched thin places tend to be, how hard it is to reach people by phone that you'd want to be in communication with, and how unclear the plan is (unless I'm missing what it's supposed to be). These are not entirely new observations about the healthcare system, but I'm noticing them more starkly and in more detail in this situation.