i guess my question is how badly is it going to fuck up all my old coworkers' excel spreadsheets. i hope it's a lot.

if they're still using those same sheets in 12 years, they need to hire me again to design them new ones.

Ok, so my mega corp company's InfoSec decided to turn off network file sharing for company assets with unknown user which seems smart but the house of cards is held up by closet "desktop servers" from people that long ago left the company. The day this happens all systems Enterprise wide goes down for 48 hours. I'm talking 100k+ employees just unable to do anything, even unlock doors in buildings. They finally just revert and call it a day. Most thought it was a cyber attack but my IT guy asked me if I had any unknown assets and what their plan was. Told him this is exactly what would happen having found a few of these closet servers.

Serious, there's an ancient Zebra printer that spits out some random barcode stickers every now and then and I thought to unplug it but doing so creates some weird interaction that will crash some serious dependencies.