people found hedonism not just agreeable but compulsory.

.,.

People got so pissed off that a sect splintered off, and I think that how we got Protestants.

I think something is missing or the Protestants would be Hedonists.

Someone please tell me how many different events I erroneously mixed together.

I can for money… Otherwise, enjoy the orgy!

Luther and Calvin started off with Niecea and Trinity are complete BS mistranslations of original greek, and you can be your own priest = "conscience interpreting Jesus words as meaningful". It ended up with Trinity is best, and only Calvin was allowed to be his own priest, and you should be killed for having believed the first version. I don't know about paying for sin, but how else can a pastor get a G6?

It didn't stop, we just understand it as psychosis these days.

Oh, it hasn't stopped, friend.

Go to any Assembly of God church on Sunday; they are inspired my the Holy Spirit, and speak in tongues! Holy Spirit talks to all who will listen.

The Bible teaches that when you accept Christ, the Magic Bird infuses you with superior wisdom and intellect. This is why you can be sure that your thoughts are legitimate and righteous.

This is 'explained' by Julian Jayne's idea of the Bicameral Mind.

Bet a non canonical bible with only cut content is a way better book.

I feel cheated that they cut the version of the nativity where Jesus was born in a cave and fought a literal dragon, after which the dragons and some lions bowed down to him (apocryphal Gospel of James).

That would have been a much better scene under the Xmas tree.

No, that's death penalty!

Oh, wait, it says "man", can't lay with a "man", not boy. Hmm. Best to ask for forgiveness just to cover your ass.

It's certainly okay to murder a boy if he has been disrespectful or disobedient. (Please note that this is not my personal view, this is Biblical, I didn't write it please don't call ICE on me).

18 If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid. ~Deuteronomy 21:18-21

Beatings are also fine from a Bible perspective, but not too much... but don't spare the rod (Proverbs 13:24)! Read your Bible for further details (I recommend King James 1611).

The celibate came

I guess they're no longer celibate then...

IiRC it was more so that the Church got actual fiefdoms and wanted control so that potential priestly families wouldn't just distance themselves into secular noble houses, taking lands with them.

Fiefdoms and related duties originated from kings, so the church wanted similar parallel rights over their vassal priests.

This great synod absolutely forbids a bishop, presbyter, deacon or any of the clergy to keep a woman who has been brought in to live with him, with the exception of course of his mother or sister or aunt, or of any person who is above suspicion.

This is what i was referring to, but it may have been a later council? It's canon from what I've read, but not specifically about marriage, but "keeping a woman".

https://www.papalencyclicals.net/councils/ecum01.htm

"This great synod absolutely forbids a bishop, presbyter, deacon or any of the clergy to keep a woman who has been brought in to live with him, with the exception of course of his mother or sister or aunt, or of any person who is above suspicion."

This is what I was referring to, from the First Council of Nicaea.

https://www.papalencyclicals.net/councils/ecum01.htm

It decided many things other than "Jesus was equal to God or not."

You should read about it!

https://www.papalencyclicals.net/councils/ecum01.htm