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[–] 7 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I have questioned my own gender a lot in the past few months and on and off throughout my life. I've kind of come to the conclusion that I'm gender ambivalent with a lot of traits that mean I probably would of had a better life had I transitioned to a woman a long time ago but now don't really see the point.

And before you guys say it is "never too late", remember I said "gender ambivalent" I don't identify as any gender. I would have been a hot woman, now I wouldn't be. ATM I'm a relatively hot scrawny (by american standards) older guy. The trade off's for me are not worth it.

If I realized "Oh hey actually I 100% just identify as a woman" sure. I'd probably do it even at this age (about to be 38). But its more either would be fine, identity wise, I just wish I had figured out I was gender ambivalent and would have been significantly happier making an early transition for practical social purposes.

My personality is a mismatch. I'm not a masculine person in key ways. This has led to consistent relationship issues.

I do often idly hope that making medical science will reach a point where we can have anti-aging tech that would effectively give us all access to indefinite youth. I'd probably transition then but that's probably a pipedream unless we're just before some kind of exponential curve. Finger's crossed I guess.

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  • [–] 6 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    "Older guy" made me think retirement age, not 37. Anyway I considered myself gender ambivalent for a couple years (or I guess apagender, as in apathy) and I don't think I really grasped that it's still a trans identity, and a pretty cool one too. It's worth doing something with it (for me that just meant going by Any pronouns online)

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  • [–] 1 point 5 days ago

    I go primarily by he/him because that's just been my life experience and my presentation. I'm a very practical person in that way.

    If I was like, toying with HRT at low dose or going for an explicitly androgynous look and chose to experience that way for a while though, sure.

    This isn't a prescription for others. Just me.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago* (3 children)

    older guy

    37

    🤨 That's really not too old

    ^Also, while I can't tell you who you are, I'm not sure the word ambivalent is an accurate word to describe someone would be "significantly happier making an early transition".^

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  • [–] 1 point 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

    I’m not sure the word ambivalent is an accurate word to describe someone would be “significantly happier making an early transition”.

    Oops also meant to respond to this bit.

    I would have been happier transitioning earlier for practical social and romantic purposes, not dysphoria/identity reasons. Those reasons no longer apply nearly as well. If I transitioned now, things would become socially and romantically worse for me.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 days ago

    I don't normally have access to this account outside work hours and I took Monday off. So late reply.

    That’s really not too old

    Its all relative, but generally and scientifically speaking, at 42 the human body seems to undergo a statistically significant acceleration in aging at the cellular level, regardless of how healthy of a lifestyle you've otherwise lived.

    Other than maybe my drinking (which I started late in life anyway) and sporadic exercise, I've lived a fairly healthy lifestyle most of my life with a solid skin routine and minimal sun exposure. I look like I'm in my later 20's. I will go from that to looking like I'm in my 40's very quickly.

    I have basically 4 years. And the real problem? I'm very picky, and that simply will never change. I'm just going to have less fun as I age unless I get very lucky. I'd have even less fun if I transitioned.

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  • Not speaking for OP here, but it did make me think about my own experience. For so long, I had the thought of “well, I’d transition if I could, but I’d be such an ugly woman, so what would the point be anyway?”.

    It’s super fucked up, but I even felt bad for my younger sister because I was like “oh, darn, she is doomed to be ugly when she grows up, because we have the same parents and look alike.” (Never fear, she’s absolutely adorable!) Even after I accepted I was nonbinary at 26 I was like “well, I’m too old to transition now, so I’ll never take hormones or tell anyone, so it’s no big deal, I’ll just keep it to myself.” And I told myself that I was ambivalent about my gender either way (spoiler: I was not actually ambivalent lol)

    It’s amazing the backflips my brain did to try to avoid accepting that I’m a trans woman. Anyway, I’m 30 now and on HRT for 7 months, and I’ve never felt better about myself! Never going back 🥰

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