I'm really sorry everyone...this is all my own damn fault, I'm not denying that in the slightest.

spoilerI was planning to die today. But I guess I'm not even capable of doing that.
This is all because I'm such an overdramatic, pathetic loser, an excuse for a human being. After an appointment with a new psychiatrist where her first question was "What is your deadname?" and after she told me I "started HRT late", I just fell into a deeper spiral. Now there's uncertainty if I'll even be able to go to Thailand for SRS, which made me full on suicidal upon finding out, so I just kinda...broke.
And there's the constant regret of not starting sooner, constant self-deprecating and loathing from feeling like I'll never be a woman. Hating my face and body every single waking second.
I'm just...depressed and not doing well right now. And I'm making it everybody's problem.

I'm sorry, but I guess I'm sticking around. I'm not dead just yet. I'm making a new account and starting over. But...at least, maybe you'll believe me now that I'm not actually a good person?
I'm really sorry. I'm actually the worst. I know that.

Maybe I should have died. Maybe. But...instead I guess I'll bother you all some more, again, from zero.
I'm sorry for being such an unimaginable fuckup...

Sincerely,
a very depressed trans girl,
Miisha

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[–] 7 points 5 days ago

I am not trans. I have no trans friends. I am a male in Australia who is nearing 40 years old.

For what little my viewpoint carries in this sub, please know that I'm glad you're still here.

You deserve love, happiness, acceptance and kindness just like anyone else. Please try to see the good in yourself. You are more than just your gender and your body. There are beautiful things about you, whether you're hairy and masculine or tiny and feminine, or anywhere between.

Look for the good parts of you. The parts that are YOU at your core, regardless of genetals and genders. You are worth having around, whether your mind and body match fully, or not.

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