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What is something other people seem to grasp easily that eludes you? (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 hours ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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For me it's time signatures in music. I grew up playing instruments, played in several orchestras, etc. But no matter how many times someone tries to explain time signatures to me, it makes no sense. I don't understand why people place such importance on it. To me, notes have a pitch and a duration, maybe some dynamics. That's it. I don't understand why people try to needlessly complicate it. It doesn't give you anything.

My wife will hear a song and go "Oh neat, it's in 5/8." And I'm like "How tf do you know that, and why does it matter?"

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[–] 40 points 6 hours ago (7 children)

I'm not sure if this answers the question but I feel like the older I get the more I see through "the game of life" and once that illusion gets shattered it's impossible to unsee. Much of the status seeking, tribal behaviour becomes nearly impossible to partake in once you start seeing what it's all for.

Go ask a person why their Instagram is filled to the brim with pictures of their face, for example, and you can watch in real time as their world view starts wobbling and they start making up rationalizations and excuses for behaviour that is utterly narcissistic. Try doing that while being fully conscious about the true motivations behind it. You can't - something has to give.

However, I'm not sure if this is a good thing. Sure you can pat yourself on the back for being above it all but it makes it really difficult for anyone to try and integrate in normal everyday social situations when all of it just feels like a performance.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 hours ago (1 child)

    There is a difference between being narcissistic and craving validation. It's completely normal to want validation, feel needed, wanted and appreciated.

    It's very sad that every human need has been turned into a subscription based service.

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  • [–] 3 points 5 hours ago

    start making up rationalizations and excuses for behaviour that is utterly narcissistic

    Humans are narcissistic and selfish because over the millenia the ones that were selfish outcompeted the ones that weren't. It's totally natural to be selfish. Some are just better at hiding it than others.

    However there is also a simple social aspect to including yourself in photos. It's a clear visceral way to say "I was here". A photo without your face does not have capture the "you" part of that statement. Social interaction is not just an exchanging of ideas, it's also about building relationships, and for that to happen, the "you" part of the equation is vital.

    To be fair I rarely include myself in photos, but for the same reason I am also less integrated into my social circles.

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  • [–] 2 points 6 hours ago*

    You don't have to fully integrate, I guess. As in, people don't have to be your intellectual/ideological peers or see things as clearly, but you can still enjoy their company. If anything, it's your moral responsibility to guide them and elucidate them when needed because, well, who else is gonna do it? They can't do it for themselves, else they wouldn't be posting a million selfies or doing whatever other nonsense they're up to after their PFC has developed sufficiently. You're gonna have to lead the blind to water, you don't want them to die of thirst, right? The way is important too, because you don't want them to see you as an annoying, moralising, "no fun allowed" kinda guy, they'll just run away from you... but with the right approach you can be the somewhat wise unc/paternal figure of your group.

    Beware though, people WILL call you asking for guidance on your days off and it'll be up to you to define the limits of your relationships so you don't end up moving to a cabin in the woods disconnected from everything, but it is definitely rewarding and very prosocial.

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