"The ring has Bluetooth" - Tolkien

What if evil is like electricity and 1000 evilvolts of potential gets induced on the rope regardless.

You know, I guess? Worth a shot at least.

Creates faraday cage made of pumice from Mt. Doom

Harnesses power of the one ring using a series of severed fingers connected to a palantir via two blue wizards tied up in my basement.

Uses surveillance footage to release "The Burning of The Shire"