this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2026
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Folks, CALM DOWN, this is still in the workshopping phase ok? First we bomb them, then we workshop WHY we bombed them, do you not understand the plan!?

Democrats, predictably, were apoplectic. “There was no imminent threat to the United States of America by the Iranians,” said Mark Warner, the top Democrat on the Senate intelligence committee, who had received classified briefings from Rubio. “There was a threat to Israel. If we equate a threat to Israel as the equivalent of an imminent threat to the United States, then we are in uncharted territory.”


Meanwhile somewhere below decks on the Titanic 11:45 PM (ship's time) on April 14, 1912

Well, if we were to equate the threat of icebergs to an imminent threat to our ship, then we would be in uncharted territory! - a well dressed crew member with an officer's hat calmly explains to a passenger.


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[–] spaghettiwestern@sh.itjust.works 88 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

This is easy one: Trump went to war to get the fact he's child rapist off the front page.

This evil man is just fine murdering Americans to divert attention from his crimes.

[–] fizzle@quokk.au 10 points 1 week ago

Bibi has the kompromat.

If Bibi has a problem, Trump has a problem.

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[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 57 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

The reason is, and I'll bet a lot of money on this: an LLM told them to.

[–] Wammityblam@lemmy.world 79 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Not quite. Israel told them to.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

You're both wrong.

It's because it's a distraction from Epstein. You're not talking about how trump rapes children. If we go to war, that becomes the focus. No longer putting pressure on trump over how trump rapes children. See, I have to keep typing trump rapes children, because society seems to have the memory of a goldfish, and have forgotten that trump rapes children.

Now, view every action he's done since taking office, and underatand understand that EVERYTHING is a distraction from trump raping children.

Now don't forget this time, ok?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It’s because it’s a distraction from Epstein. You’re not talking about how trump rapes children.

I believe we're now talking about how he murders children

[–] e0qdk@reddthat.com 16 points 2 weeks ago

I believe we're now talking about how he murders children

Unfortunately, yes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2026_Minab_school_airstrike

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[–] Wammityblam@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

I get the sentiment, but war is worse than obvious pedophiles trying and failing to hide their crimes

[–] Zink@programming.dev 4 points 2 weeks ago

It's also very possible that the war is a roudabout consequence of the child rape, assuming Epstein was a Mossad honeypot and Israel really really wants the US to be blowing up Iran right now.

[–] 4grams@awful.systems 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

None of you are wrong, this is multiple levels of stupid. The dictator wants a war so he can cancel elections, the other even more genocidal dictator wants more genocide so they cook up a plan. These morons shop it to the white supremacist running the department of WAR, and he gets a raging jesus boner at the idea. So they all sit down and ask mecha-hitler for a plan..

That’s where we are.

[–] synae@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago

"Actually, Israelis"

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Not really that different

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Israel told them to do it via the medium of an LLM

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But nothing extraordinary has happened. Just the US started war in the middle east. Happens every 10 or so years

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Bush spent months trying to convince the world that invading Iraq was justified.

Trump didn't even do that.

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[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago

They bombed Iran to get people to forget that Trump and his circle are mass-scale slavers, child rapists, and traitorous foreign agents.

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago

They are trying to cause an attack on American soil.

Why? Trump has been very clear about his unhinged plan to use martial law as an excuse to scuttle the midterms. The domestic strategies have repeatedly failed, so now he’s going for a 9/11 10/7 gambit.

Americans, you need to take out your political trash now or get out of the country. Gilead is coming.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The causus belli is probably somewhere in the Epstein files, let's all check them thoroughly!

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

The thing is if these bombings are supposed to be distracting everyone from the tRUMP-Epstein files then why is it called Operation Epstein War?

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)
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[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Epitome of "shoot first, as questions later".

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[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Does it change anything if it's a good excuse?

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

What I have learned from US superhero movies is that what is important is doing your best and believing in your country no matter what!

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[–] orbitz@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

There was an article saying it was for religious reasons, military people calling in to a hotline they have to say they were told orders were sanctioned by god or something similar.

I'm not religious (do know a fair but of what pre high school kids tends to learn) but according to the old testament the Christian God(well all same God for participants technically unless I'm misunderstanding my theology) doesn't need help if he wants to wipe out people.

Imagine saying you're on a holy war because Trump says so? That sounds wild even for some of the out there comedies.

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Its possible for different people in the same administration to have different motives to do something they both want to do.

I doubt trump is religious at all in any way shape or form. The others though...

[–] orbitz@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

I don't doubt that the actual people pulling the strings (I'll say 2025 unsure if it was religious sided but think it was) are quite religious. Trump as usual is the greedy idiot they make this the fault of, mean why would the US elect someone who wasn't really proper leader in charge? So he gets the blame, he's at his end run out his usefulness anyways but enough moves have been made they can't go back now so just push forward.

The rapture dudes are all probably in ecstasy at the moment when in reality it'll leave the world in a worse situation.

Wait typing this thing out made me realize the fault of people is not understanding when we're wrong least the higher ups. So many of us can't stand saying we're wrong. I'd rock to tell the US it's okay to be wrong, take your licks and come play with us again. But they're too ornary.

Personally I hate being wrong it's a knife to the gut. But you know what? That's how I learn to improve. I learn not to be wrong in the future from those actions. Too bad the US is run by someone who can't learn a lesson we teach toddlers.

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[–] VinegarChunks@lemmus.org 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you state reasons for doing something that gives everyone a thing to look at to see if you are succeeding or failing.

Trump is, above all else, a master in marketing. He has complete confidence that, through marketing skills, he will be able to take credit for anything good that comes, and all failures can be either ignored or blamed on someone else.

But stating reasons up front makes it harder to do this.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

also gives them a totally arbitrary goal so they can keep going or withdraw whenever. we don't know if this will be 6 days, 6 weeks, or 6 months because there are no clear objectives to accomplish

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

The Trump War Evading Epstein (TWEE) with no way of telling if we're "winning" or "losing." I'm pretty sure we're losing if we're blowing up elementary schools.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They gave a reason, it's just stupid.

Rubio said it was a preemptive strike to preempt their strike after the Israeli preemptive strike.

Kinda WW1 logic.

Further proof trump and the republicans haven’t had an original thought in decades.

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[–] DragonAce@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well they could just tell the truth and admit it was to distract from the Epstein files.

"Operation Epstein Distraction"

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[–] Zephorah@discuss.online 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Apparently Israel runs the world now and we are their lapdog. That’s why.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Because Epstein was a mossad agent.

[–] Arancello@aussie.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

america is now a vassal state of the israelis. america gives billions to israel. israelis get free education and healthcare. american taxpayers get cancelled healthcare, cancelled foodstamps, cancelled safety nets. why did you vote for this? i really dont get it.

[–] _deleted_@aussie.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

“What a beautiful White House! Look at those drapes! And have you seen the DOW?” the guy is senile and his sycophants don’t want to upset him.

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Wasn't it because he is anointed by Jesus to be the herald of his second cumming?

[–] TrippinMallard@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Probably quid pro quo with the saudis for more oil dominance

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

UHh.. The kinda have.

They said Israel made them do it.

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Why not open source this work to the gig economy? They should have some sort of contrivance contest for whoever can construct the most realistic bullshit excuse for why the US went to war. Winner gets paid for a day and a bag of onions.

[–] Bakkoda@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Unsanctioned military operation. Not war. Illegal command from a compromised POTUS doing the work of his master.

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[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Have the war you voted for, MAGAs.

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