this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 108 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The Only Thing Prohibiting Transit in the Straits Right now is the War Trump Started.

FIFY

[–] Godort@lemmy.ca 104 points 1 month ago

"The only thing prohibiting access to the backyard is the hornets nest we kicked"

[–] AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world 73 points 1 month ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 68 points 1 month ago
[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If only there was some way of predicting this would happen, we wouldn't have done this! ;p

[–] rosco385@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 month ago

It's almost as if they'd waited until... congress... had... authorised... the war, they wouldn't be left holding the bag by themselves.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The only thing preventing me from marrying that girl is that she shoots at me whenever I approach.

[–] some_designer_dude@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What you need is an armed escort. In a month. Then she’ll be all yours!

[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago

Once you get through enough armed escorts that there is a pile of bodies to hide behind, she'll be all yours!

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Didn't you kill that girl's dad a few days ago?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

The old man had it coming, he was a real piece of shit. I'm not sure what she's not understanding, I think she's got some real mental problems. I just worry about her, you know?

[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Didn't anyone in Trump's cabinet think that perhaps Iran would have used the Strait of Hormuz as a strategic tool? Or care to listen to the guy who did?

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 month ago

Well, he's a quicker learner than I thought he'd be.

It doesn't quite get to the root cause, though, does it?

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 month ago

The only thing preventing Hegseth from being a genius is the fact he is an idiot.

[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Macron also said they won't send war ships because they might get shot at.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago
[–] schnokobaer@feddit.org 10 points 1 month ago

Only that. Huh.

[–] rigatti@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago
[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

We attacked Florida and demanded that they don't cut off traffic to Alabama through the Gulf of Mexico. Except it isn't nearly that wide, it's 35x smaller

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I mean. We should probably build a wall around Florida.

Republican goobers like catchy names. We could call it “America’s Cock Ring.”

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

You'd be surprised how popular that would be both in context and out.

[–] WanderingThoughts 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

build a wall around Florida.

"So that wall is to keep it the hurricanes?"

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

"It's for when the climate change causes shrinkage!" (to keep the swamp trolls out. when their swamps become lagoons)

[–] afromustache@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Saving this thread so I can show it when any conservatives try to defend this administration.

"The only thing preventing me from being competent is the fact that I am a moron"

Edit: The

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

No shit, Sherlock!