What part of "fully functional" are you not understanding?
this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
122 points (93.6% liked)
Risa: Your Home Away from Spacedock
585 readers
188 users here now
Welcome to Risa
All the pleasure of shore leave, none of the holodeck glitches.
Rule 1 — Be Civil, Not Klingon
This is a vacation planet, not the neutral zone.
- No harassment, brigading, or trolling
- No bigotry
- Keep the banter playful, not hostile
Rule 2 — No Prohibited Cargo
Some things aren’t welcome aboard.
- No spam or scams
- No porn or sexually explicit content
- No illegal content
- NSFW memes must be properly tagged
Rule 3 — Keep It Trek
Posts should be Star Trek memes or Trek-adjacent humor.
- Crossovers are fine
- Low-effort “unrelated” memes may be spaced out the nearest airlock
Rule 4 — Gatekeeping Belongs in a Black Hole
You’re welcome to have your own opinions on what counts as “real” Star Trek but forcing your view on others or pretending it’s the only valid one? That’s not the Starfleet way.
Everyone’s Trek is valid, from TOS purists to Lower Decks shitposters, and you don't get to dictate what is real or not for everyone.
If you see a post that violates the rules, or that doesn't inspire Jamaharon, report it so the mods can handle it.
Otherwise grab a horga’hn, order a Risan Mai Tai, and enjoy your shore leave.
founded 5 months ago
MODERATORS
Fully functional.
Noonian Soong cared deeply about verisimilitude.
Nipples are a fundamental part of the human experience.
Yet he couldn't quite figure out the synthetic skin.
never forget that canonically Data must have a refillable cum tank, and it's someone's job to refill it.
~~Possibly, but Data can perform much of his own maintenance, can he not? Soong considered many aspects in his design — perhaps his ejaculatory system is designed with this in mind and is capable of refilling without additional tooling.~~
Computer, delete that entire post.
Sure, but where is he getting the cum?
can...can you replicate cum? I guess theoretically you should be able to? Now I'm imagining him saying "Computer, replicate a bucket of cum," and swapping em out.
I don’t see why not. To the replicator it’s no different than a plate of steak and eggs. You could even make customizations: “Computer, one bucket of cum, extra thick. Add a hint of Barzan star fruit.”
Computer, end simulation.
COMPUTER! END SIMULATION!
Computer: "Commander Riker, I cannot fulfill this request as Captain Picard has explicitly banned your replicator account from ordering this and related products. Your holodeck privileges have also been revoked"
"Computer... Yar supplement 25."
"No matter how much I twiddle them I still can't pick up Jazz FM"
Positronic debug, those with the belly button as ground, create a kinda uart.
Press and hold both for ten seconds to force a system reboot.
The space cold makes his nipples go pointy, so he can use them as telescopic antennae to transmit data back to Enterprise.
Data, in space do you smoke weed or Astro-turf?
SO HE CAn excrete bio-lubricants for his machine parts to an offspring who needs it.
How much do you want to bet Data could lactate in emergency situations.
Thermometers
They assist with detective work
You've got to recharge him somehow..
Maybe Data doesn't, but Brent Spiner does, so Spiner's portrayal of Data was less than perfect (through no fault of his own).
Like how Michael Dorn isn't really a Klingon, he's just a man who portrays one.
Cue the lo-res Geordi LaForge version of the Drake meme.
Has? Or is Data like data wrt plural
Have is correct.
"Why does John have an umbrella?"
"Why does my dog have a wet nose?"
Hell I don’t even know why I have nipples…
For fun!
GET DOWN