this post was submitted on 02 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

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-Do not Brigade other Communities

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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[–] volore@scribe.disroot.org 86 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

And don't even get me started on how we drive on parkways and park in driveways.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 52 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Or how shipments travel by car and cargo travels by ship.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 37 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Car go ship? No, car go road.

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Car go road? No car go beep beep… you okay buddy??

[–] restingOface@quokk.au 25 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You cook bacon, but you bake cookies.

[–] Rebels_Droppin@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Jon's definitely having a stroke

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You can bake bacon, but you can not cook cookies.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Actually tipfinger is what your mom calls that thing I do to her butt.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

Just the tip?

[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Where are the Germans in this thread? I'm pretty sure they have a word for your tippy toes.

[–] UnfortunateShort@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Yep, for us its the same. Fingertips are 'Fingerspitzen' and the tips of your toes are 'Zehenspitzen', whereas "Spitzen" literally translates to 'tips'

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 2 weeks ago

Whoa there's a paw track emoji? Nice.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

-"Spitz on my tip!"

[–] username_1@programming.dev 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Not a German here, but I bet that word is KurztrumDummerungHimmsschplatzHoch or something.

[–] Zwiebel@feddit.org 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You mean Fingerspitzengefühl?

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

Which translates to "the ends of the feet fingers" or something

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The fuck do you mean you don't have toetips? Do your toes not end?

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Pretty brave of you to admit openly that you don't have endless toes.

[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 3 points 2 weeks ago

I come from a long and proud line of endtoes.

[–] Dalvoron@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 weeks ago

You may not have toetips, but you do have tippy-toes.

[–] Heavybell@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Your toes do have toetips, just nobody gives a shit about them.

[–] Karmanopoly@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Shove your toes in a politicians face and all of a sudden the whole police force cares about em now

[–] Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 weeks ago

If only that were true, the world would be a slightly less weird place.

[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Also like, they call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing.

[–] DrWorm@piefed.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 weeks ago

Oh wait, there they go…

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

My tongue has a tip, you wanna see what I can do with that?

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[–] prasadCode58@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

How high were you when you were thinking about this logic ?

[–] ReginaPhalange@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

high how were you

Oh pretty good n you?

[–] Joker_1902@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 weeks ago

It’s too late for this shit. Take my upvote

[–] mech@feddit.org 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I won't tip toes for simply doing their job.

Toes deserve fair compensation but I wish they'd just price it into the bill.

[–] w3ird_sloth@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Jokes on you. I cut my fingertips off.

[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago

Then the new spot is your finger tips

[–] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 3 points 2 weeks ago

"Captain Sparrow, who is robbing me and what are they taking while you're here beguiling me?"

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

You can tip toe because toes aren't tipped. Likewise you can't tip finger because they are already tipped. 🙃

[–] Big_Boss_77@fedinsfw.app 2 points 2 weeks ago

You can't tipfinger because you're already using your finger tips, but your toe tips are not in use anywhere else, and therefore exclusively used for tiptoeing.

[–] Sualtam@lemmus.org 1 points 1 week ago

My toes have tips. Maybe you should go see a doctor.

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