Comradeship // Freechat

I'm trying my best to integrate rest and studying optimally while dealing with personal problems. The lack of peers to talk to (because of busyness and introversion) makes me feel lonely, but I manage.

The horrors persist, yet so do I

Taking a tremendously difficult class which is normally a full semester but has crammed into an eight week summer course. Anatomy and Physiology. It is a nightmare. I get home from my full time job in healthcare at 10:30 pm and do homework until 6:00 am. Toss and turn and sweat and itch in bed for a few hours until it's time to go back to work. I am not exaggerating. Chemistry and cell structure is so abstract and hard to follow.

I got a 62/100 on the first exam covering the first three chapters. I guess it's not the end of the world. I have time to turn it around if I redouble my efforts. I'm usually a straight A student.

Every time I talk to people how awful this existence is I'm told it's a problem with my way of thinking. It always comes back around to being my fault. It gets old. Life isn't fun.

As Norman Finkelstein once said: "Speaking as a devout atheist, thank God we're mortal."

Crap. is there anything but crap?

I'm unemployed and experiencing life in a bit of a strange way. Time has become kinda meaningless. Like, every day feels the same as I literally have no place I need to be. I can do whatever I want. In a few months I start education and hopefully a job again and until then it is day by day living really.

I'm looking to go on a trip. Perhaps Istanbul. There is a strange urge in me to experience life in a chaotic world class city and Istanbul seems to be the place.

Doing better since my last "woe is me" post. I'm preparing to travel to Serbia.

Terrible. Being outside in the woods on my new bike now that it’s summer is basically all I have rn

Burnt out but actually quite good right now. Life can be really tough for many different reasons but sometimes you've got to find a way to cope and somehow the past few hours I have let go of the horrors, watched some youtube communist content and chilled myself out.

I've got a lot of personal stuff to sort out - like the fact I am out of shape, lonely and unemployed. I'm going to try to take it one step at a time. If Harry Du Bois can carry on so can I.

How are you doing?

for the moment i feel good...always aware of the fascist advance, but they don't deserve my stress, so i enjoy music, drawing, drinking some spirits and make plans to find ways to fight and make the people understand the errors of their ideologies.

what about you?

I have to hide the general news thread for this month because the news were unfortunately getting to me but overall, still kind of sad but pushing through.