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[–] 182 points 2 months ago (22 children)

I used a photo I found online from my local governments department of transport. The name was "Sam S. Sample" with a photo of Mr Bean. So far Reddit, discord, and pornhub have all accepted it.

I'm in my 30s but fuck giving my government ID to random American corporations with a history of data breaches.

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  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago* (5 children)
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    [–] 137 points 2 months ago (10 children)

    This is actually a fun bit of historical trivia. That passport isn't something someone just cooked up in Photoshop. It's real.

    In 1976, his remains were issued an Egyptian passport (nearly 3 thousand years after his death) so that he could be transported to Paris for an irradiated treatment to prevent a fungoid growth.

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  • [–] 20 points 2 months ago

    Image Credit – HeritageDaily (Please note, this is an artists recreation and is not the original passport)

    For anyone that missed it, this version was cooked up in Photoshop. But an actual version does exist

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  • [–] 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (7 children)

    Just put him back in his dark, dry grave.

    Making a 3000 year old mummy rely on hightech that wouldn't last a 100 years, smh.

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  • [–] 26 points 2 months ago (6 children)

    (Sorry, your short comment inspired me. Sorry this ended up being so long.)

    I imagine it's a hard balance to strike. These artifacts and mummies ultimately need guarding. They've been protected from the centuries only by obscurity alone. All the ancient tomb traps failed long ago. You could put him back in his tomb, but now you have to guard the tomb. Otherwise someone will break in there and steal it. Some oligarch would absolutely pay a fortune for the bragging rights of having Ramses II's mummy on display in their villa. With the shear number of mummies and historical sites in Egypt, if you left things where they are, the Egyptian government would have to pay people to guard thousands of sites around the clock. And you then have to worry about the guards stationed at these isolated sites being bribed to look the other way as the thieves break in. (Or becoming thieves themselves.)

    Amusingly, the Egyptians of today seem to be in the exact same situation as those of 4,000 years ago. Almost all ancient royal graves were looted in antiquity. The discovery of King Tut's tomb was such a hurricane specifically because it was the only royal tomb we've ever found that wasn't looted. The ancient thieves were after gold and jewels. But today, if they put it up for auction, I imagine the mummy of Ramses II would probably sell for more than its own weight in gold. The ancient thieves mostly tore apart mummies to find jewelry buried within the wrappings. Today the mummies themselves are the jewelry. Ancient thieves robbed the pharaohs of their wealth. Modern thieves have come for the pharaohs themselves.

    It's really just a security problem. Once you dig something up, you have to guard it. And it's a lot easier to guard a hundred mummies in one museum than it is to guard a hundred mummies at a hundred different tombs scattered throughout the countryside.

    Sure, you could just say, "screw it, no more archaeology, we're just leaving everything in the ground!" But then again, thieves can excavate tombs just as archaeologists can. And if you never reveal the ancient secrets, if living people never get to see these ancient mummies and artifacts, practically that's little different than letting the treasures be looted. Morally I'm not particularly concerned about disturbing ancient graves. I don't believe in ancient curses, or that we will be disturbing the real afterlife of a pharaoh by doing whatever we want to his corpse. To me these are just inanimate objects. Their worth comes entirely from the value they have in the present and future as the cultural heritage of the Egyptian people (fuck the British Museum). An artifact left forever in the ground, never again to be seen by living human eyes? To me that has no more worth than any random rock.

    Living human beings are what provide value and worth to inanimate objects, even if those inanimate objects used to be human beings. I don't support looting recent graves or the ancient burials still revered by modern people (like ancient Native American burial sites.) But if the actual living indigenous people are OK with it? If they're the ones leading the effort? If we're not going to hurt any living people by digging up an ancient tomb? I'm all for it. Graves are for the living, not the dead. If it wouldn't cause pain to my own friends and family, I would be completely OK with someone just chucking my corpse in a garbage bin after I'm gone. I don't need it anymore. To me, it's literally trash.

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  • [–] 94 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Well he's clearly over the age range, I don't see an issue.

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  • [–] 45 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    Hopefully whatever platform they signed up for isn't owned by the bloody Hittites

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  • [–] 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 child)

    Funny enough, there are villages in eastern Anatolia that are not on the government maps.

    They do trade with other towns and have gas, cars etc but population is mainly sheep herders and native to the land like ethnic Kurds with direct connections to the Mesapotamia.

    So there are actual non-zero chances that there is some hidden ancient Hittite village last recorded by Alexander the Great's empire, and the Persians/Romans who conquered a fort nearby later didn't survey that particular location before assuming they control its area now, so the village kinda has been sitting there enjoying not paying any taxes; and an actual bloody hittite from that place could leave their rural town today to go get an id and work at tumblr hq.

    At least in my history-adjacent fanfic that I just came up with.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago

    Was about to say how much I love it when a random shitpost leads to an insightful comment by an actual expert in a very niche topic. Then read your last sentence. Well played.

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  • [–] 36 points 2 months ago (2 children)

    thanks to France, they required the passport to be transferred there, so Egypt printed one

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  • [–] 24 points 2 months ago

    Yeah I've seen a bunch of these. It's pretty clear that ID verification is just a drag net to catch the uninformed or stupid people which is going to be like 70% of traffic anyway.

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  • [–] 23 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Even the expiration date isn't correct

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  • [–] 11 points 2 months ago*

    I let my license expire once by accident. Found out when I was running an instacart order after work. Figure if I'm going to already drive 50 miles home, mine as well have some stops and make back the gas money. Finished shopping and the person at the counter told me I couldn't check out because I may have been in my mid thirties last week, but that has since expired so I am infact no longer a person, lol.

    Pain in the ass.

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  • [–] 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

    🎶 The man in gauze! The man in gauze! 🎶

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago* (1 child)

    "That man belongs in a museum."

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  • [–] 18 points 2 months ago

    Return the slab

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  • [–] 13 points 2 months ago

    He has a license to drive a chariot between Sunrise and Sunset.

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  • [–] 12 points 2 months ago

    This age verification garbage is actually the (final) reason why I moved to Lemmy lol

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  • [–] 7 points 2 months ago

    How can this be! The AI used to search the image is top notch! It's the LATEST tech!

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago

    @BonesOfTheMoon I have to admit, that's very clever.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    thats how we get cursed, do you want to get cursed?!?!

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    [–] 5 points 2 months ago (3 children)

    I’ve never seen anyone put their profession on their passport.

    I suspect this might be fake.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    passport number should be A00000001

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  • [–] 5 points 2 months ago

    Picture taken sometime after defeating the sea people

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