this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2026
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[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 62 points 1 week ago (3 children)

"Jesus take the wheel!"

I don't think he even has a driving licence.

[–] yogurtwrong@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Of course he has a drivers licence, he drove a Honda Accord

1000001502

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 1 points 6 days ago

How amazing would it be if this was a real ad by Honda.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 0 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

If I had one of them I wouldn't speak of it either.

Edit: Oof. We've got some Accord owners in the audience. Just riffin', kids.

[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Got it revoked for DUI probably. His BAC is the same as wine.

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (3 children)

If he drove his car into a lake, would it float or would he just burst thru the roof like a bond villain?

I can't decide what I would like more.

[–] Untamed_Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

talking about that, how didn't he fall walking in the water, weren't there little waves and all that?

[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Maybe he was also a surfer dude, I mean that gnarly hair and lack of job..

car would crash into the lake

[–] Spezi@feddit.org 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] doomchapel666@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

hell yeah jesus now make my gas infinite too

[–] Spezi@feddit.org 4 points 1 week ago

gives you lactose intolerance and turns your gastric juice into milk

[–] s@piefed.world 41 points 1 week ago

Yeah but compare their driving record to atheists’ driving record. How often do you see nothing sitting by the side of the road?

[–] BurgerBaron@quokk.au 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

According to the county I live in, if you graffiti a highway train bridge with images of Jesus it's fine for a decade to leave that up until someone adds little red devil horns, then it gets painted over within a week.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

That's why if the city won't fix the pothole, you should spray paint a dick on it.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They shouldn't wear seatbelts

Let them put their faith to the test

[–] Tzayad@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (4 children)

On a serious note.

I knew a woman who would not wear a seatbelt, her reasoning? If she wore one, it would signal to god that she didn't trust him.

I saw a video where daughters were arguing with their mother about turning the car off while it was being fueled. She refused to because "do you not trust Jesus? If we die, it is God's will. I trust him and will not interfere". Dangerous morons.

[–] cmbabul@slrpnk.net 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Did… did you know my mom? She’s literally bitched my entire life about how she shouldn’t have to wear one if she doesn’t want to and that if she died in an accident she would “go on to glory”, it took my baby brother balling his eyes out that he didn’t want her to die to get her to do it. I still have doubts that she wears one if she’s in the car by herself. For context I’m now in my 40s

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 5 points 1 week ago

Damn, literal death cult.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

There's stupid, then there's religious stupid...

[–] Beangut@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

That's cool, did you use 'knew' as in before she flew out a windscreen?

[–] Tzayad@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Knew, but it was cancer

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 1 week ago

does she believe in airbags.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I know it's a meme but... victims of car crashes are not just bad drivers

[–] i_ben_fine@midwest.social 8 points 1 week ago

atheists keep running christians off the road!

there we go, back in meme town

[–] LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 week ago

Well, cars weren't around in Jesus' time. No idea why they keep asking him to drive

Atheist: shit, I'm sliding out! Better get this under control.

Christian: Jesus, take the wheel!

[–] seathru@quokk.au 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes. I've been on motorcycles the better part of my life and I give any vehicles with religious stickers a wide berth.

College alumni stickers are also an excellent bad driver indicator.

[–] finalarbiter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

Interesting, is it any college alumni stickers or are there specific schools that you notice seem to correlate with bad drivers?

[–] alapakala@quokk.au 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Blame the vehicle industry.
A good Christian rides camels, horses, and multiple wifes.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 6 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How would a centaur wear pants

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)

You want Leah to wear clothes?

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

If i have to wear pants then everyone should suffer with me

[–] SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Correct. Although she'll always be second choice for me. Unfortunately the best partner in pelican town is with the only person there who's more autistic than me.

[–] SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ah, if only there were some poly people in pelican town 😥

There are a bunch of them. Thanks to my rabbit foot, they are blissfully unaware that they're poly though. Anyway I refuse to share robin with Demetrius. The man's controlling, annoying, boring and frightfully pedantic. Robin can do better. Actually wile I'm at it I'm going to save Marnie from a life of being hidden away like she's something to be ashamed of. Fuck you Lewis! Her life's hard enough without you treating her like shit! Me, Marnie, Robin, and Leah getting trashed on ancient fruit wine in my barn during the week and doing peyote with Sandy on the weekend.

[–] alapakala@quokk.au 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

حَرِيمٌ
monogamy is a recent western sabotage propaganda.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I know what a harem is. I was just making a joke about riding wives like animals vs sexually.

[–] alapakala@quokk.au 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

yes
Awareness ≢ endorsement.
I love consentual poly{gamy,eros} & promiscuity.
I am incompatibility with such an objectifying grooming dominant religion.
Free all✊🏿

[–] CPMSP@midwest.social 9 points 1 week ago

It's the perfect religion for being an utter psychopath.

No matter what, you're forgiven if you believe some Palestinian dude a couple thousand years ago is the only son of a supreme deity.

It's such a dovetail with capitalism it's criminal; be horrible, go to the good afterlife anyway‽

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

as a kid used to get in competitions on who would spot more of these crosses during road trips, we got lots of mountain serpentines, thus many of these near cliffs

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