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[–] 291 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (14 children)
-----BEGIN OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----  
WhattheAAAAdidyoujustAAAAAAAsayaboutmeyoulittlebitch+IllhaveyouknowIg  
raduatedtopofmyclassintheNavySealsandIvebeeninvolvedinnumeroussecretr  
aidsonAl+QuaedaandIhaveover300confirmedkillsIamtrainedingorillawarfar  
eandImthetopsniperintheentireUSarmedforcesYouarenothingtomebutjustano  
thertargetIwillwipeyoutheAAAAoutwithprecisionthelikesofwhichhasneverb  
eenseenbeforeonthisEarthmarkmyAAAAAAAwordsYouthinkyoucangetawaywithsa  
yingthatshittomeovertheInternet+ThinkagainAAAAAAAswespeakIamcontactin  
gmysecretnetworkofspiesacrosstheUSAandyourIPisbeingtracedrightnowsoyo  
ubetterprepareforthestormmaggotThestormthatwipesoutthepatheticlittlet  
hingyoucallyourlifeYoureAAAAAAAdeadkidIcanbeanywhereanytimeandIcankil  
lyouinoversevenhundredwaysandthatsjustwithmybarehandsNotonlyamIextens  
ivelytrainedinunarmedcombatbutIhaveaccesstotheentirearsenaloftheUnite  
dStatesAAAAAACorpsandIwilluseittoitsfullextenttowipeyourmiserableasso  
ffthefaceofthecontinentyoulittleshitIfonlyyoucouldhaveknownwhatunholy  
retributionyourlittle/clever/commentwasabouttobringdownuponyoumaybeyo  
uwouldhaveheldyourAAAAAAAtongueButyoucouldntyoudidntandnowyourepaying  
thepriceyougoddamnidiotIwillshitfuryalloveryouandyouwilldrowninitYour  
eAAAAAAAdeadkiddo==  
-----END OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----  

EDIT: almost forgot to sign it!

Love,
/u/queerlilhayseed

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  • [–] 101 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    hehe you have the word ass in your private key, what are the odds

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  • [–] 19 points 3 weeks ago* (8 children)

    The == had me wondering for too long

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  • [–] 47 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (7 children)

    Haha I started trying to format the text so that it was technically a valid ed25519 key, then it became too much work for a silly joke so I settled for filtering/replacing all the invalid chars and slapping the == padding at the end. Needs more AAAAAA strings to really sell it, I think, but I'm glad it turned out well enough to merit a second glance lol.

    Edit: I swapped all instances of fuck|fucker|fucking with As, I think it's an improvement.

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  • [–] 17 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

    It is very good - I will steal it.

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    [–] 131 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Is it bad that this bothers me purely because the public key can be derived from the private key, so providing both is unnecessary?

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  • [–] 130 points 3 weeks ago
    [–] 77 points 3 weeks ago (10 children)
    -----BEGIN OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----
    b3BlbnNzaC1rZXktdjEAAAAABG5vbmUAAAAEbm9uZQAAAAAAAAABAAAAMwAAAAtzc2gtZW
    QyNTUxOQAAACC6BPuFW94rFl033+m7MHTouxkIdEXsilx+sI6Z6Iul7AAAAJAHHAUZBxwF
    GQAAAAtzc2gtZWQyNTUxOQAAACC6BPuFW94rFl033+m7MHTouxkIdEXsilx+sI6Z6Iul7A
    AAAEAHVmMS+9A6uhD6r6iUAxubrNuS2lx4CPayJ2B4hL8HNroE+4Vb3isWXTff6bswdOi7
    GQh0ReyKXH6wjpnoi6XsAAAACHdhbGRvQGhlAQIDBAU=
    -----END OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----
    
    ***
    PUBLIC KEY BELOW
    ***
    ssh-ed25519 AAAAC3NzaC1lZDI1NTE5AAAAILoE+4Vb3isWXTff6bswdOi7GQh0ReyKXH6wjpnoi6Xs
    
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    [–] 51 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
  • [–] 49 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
  • [–] 46 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

    Should be private ssh key and public ip address. public key can be derived if necessary and it does you no good to have a key to an unknown door

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    [–] 38 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    I normally just skip keygen

    it's such a hassle

    besides, it means I can connect from anywhere

    no one checks the ssh port on prod anyway

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  • [–] 34 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)
  • [–] 34 points 3 weeks ago

    Public: Ssssssshhhh!
    Private: Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

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  • [–] 25 points 3 weeks ago

    Please mark your territory by posting the hosts you have visited with your favorite cat name.

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  • [–] 19 points 3 weeks ago

    My public key:

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  • [–] 17 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Public key: b26Stop543looking957at140me8339when8709Im10114naked73856 Private Key: Oh SnAp!

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  • [–] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Public key can be derived from private key.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    192.168.0.1 1.1.1.1

    damn im cute

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  • [–] 7 points 3 weeks ago

    I like to update mine based on the season. Right now it's Freddy: JSON

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