Jeff K

https://www.somethingawful.com/hosted/jeffk/

"Under Construction"

"Best viewed in Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher"

"An error has occurred in the script on this page."

1337 h4x0r 5p34k

Webrings.

guest book

Gotta have a really tacky tiled background JPG.

Autoplay a song and make the player controls tough to find

WAIT! I have something for this!

A collection of Geocities sites. Pick a category and enjoy!

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Animated dividers. Like the blood dripping bar or the pulsing neon one. Or both if you were me.

For me it's webrings. And, they're back. I'm in a hurry so fame l can't research for you, but, they exist.

Guest log.

Web rings.

“Secret” links like clicking on an unassuming graphic takes you to a secret page.

Contact info that includes a fax machine phone #

guest book

Two paragraphs talking about how great you feel about finally getting on the World Wide Web. Include as many typos as possible.

A dozen links to other websites (make sure at most only 2 of them actually work).

Excessive use of the BLINK tag in titles.

Copy and paste some random Ascii art but make sure not to use the right font so nothing aligns properly.

Real Audio music files.

An image gallery for no apparent reason with photos of your pets and family with no apparent image size or dimension consistency. Different fonts on everything often in different colours. Random string of emojis that are not of the standard type (there wasn't a standard yet). A background of a single colour or simple repeating pattern.

"You are visitor #36,738"

👉CLICK HERE to E-MAIL👈

Email is the link, not the words click here and certainly not the entire thing.

Repeating background texture that makes the text a bit hard to read. Begging visitors to sign the guestbook. 'Under construction' gif for pages that aren't done yet. Autoplay midi (probably not possible nowadays).

.wav background music starts playing and maybe you can turn it off. But maybe not.

The pride of our nation, Internet Mahir: I kiss you!

https://web.archive.org/web/20020726141104/http://www.istanbul.tc/mahir/mahir/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahir_%C3%87a%C4%9Fr%C4%B1

Dude was probably the first internet meme.

A CGI web-counter.

Good luck though, I found one page talking about them, it had 11 dead links to web counter pages.

Dancing baby gif somewhere on the page is a must.

A random button that directs you to "You Are An Idiot" hosted on albinoblacksheep.com
Bonus points if you can get it to look like it's still running on Shockwave flash

Maybe a geocities domain?

• use tables for layout, don’t hide the borders and don’t merge them
• also use iframes for root layout
• use the first 16 named css colors only
• only use default serif font in default size, don’t consider wide screens so body copy flows across the whole screen

Marquee

animated gifs.

soooo many animated gifs

midi version of some popular (or relevant to whatever fandom the site is about) 90s song autoplaying and looping in the background

Hit random on neocities and came up with this:

https://empeethree.neocities.org/

I'd say that's pretty early 2000s

One page, one really long page, then the links to other pages have to go to under construction, or have 5 lines at most with no menu

Scrolling text