this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
2 points (58.3% liked)

Casual Conversation

3063 readers
384 users here now

Share a story, ask a question, or start a conversation about (almost) anything you desire. Maybe you'll make some friends in the process.


RULES (updated 01/22/25)

  1. Be respectful: no harassment, hate speech, bigotry, and/or trolling. To be concise, disrespect is defined by escalation.
  2. Encourage conversation in your OP. This means including heavily implicative subject matter when you can and also engaging in your thread when possible. You won't be punished for trying.
  3. Avoid controversial topics (politics or societal debates come to mind, though we are not saying not to talk about anything that resembles these). There's a guide in the protocol book offered as a mod model that can be used for that; it's vague until you realize it was made for things like the rule in question. At least four purple answers must apply to a "controversial" message for it to be allowed.
  4. Keep it clean and SFW: No illegal content or anything gross and inappropriate. A rule of thumb is if a recording of a conversation put on another platform would get someone a COPPA violation response, that exact exchange should be avoided when possible.
  5. No solicitation such as ads, promotional content, spam, surveys etc. The chart redirected to above applies to spam material as well, which is one of the reasons its wording is vague, as it applies to a few things. Again, a "spammy" message must be applicable to four purple answers before it's allowed.
  6. Respect privacy as well as truth: Don’t ask for or share any personal information or slander anyone. A rule of thumb is if something is enough info to go by that it "would be a copyright violation if the info was art" as another group put it, or that it alone can be used to narrow someone down to 150 physical humans (Dunbar's Number) or less, it's considered an excess breach of privacy. Slander is defined by intentional utilitarian misguidance at the expense (positive or negative) of a sentient entity. This often links back to or mixes with rule one, which implies, for example, that even something that is true can still amount to what slander is trying to achieve, and that will be looked down upon.

Casual conversation communities:

Related discussion-focused communities

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

On the one hand, my father lost his dad when he was 12, so he is not perfect. I want to assume he is atleast trying his best. But this past year, "his best" was "OK with punching his children" and as far as I know, hasnt seen his grand children. (My sister has a kid. Living happy with her partner. Since sister and partner is not married, my dad doesnt acknowlege them.)

Im OK with skipping the birthday text to father, but mother (who i still talk to) insist i send the text.

top 9 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are you dependent on your parents at all? (Ex: you are a child, or they give you money to live.) Send it. You don't have to mean it.

Otherwise, do what you want. Don't send one if you don't want to.

A lot of us had hard lives and didn't abuse children. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own actions.

As a side note, if he cannot stop abusing children, is there any way you can get them out of that situation, such as reporting to child services?

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Am in contact with Mom, but not depedant. Dad is only my "mechanic". Only "dependant" for car things. Know nothing about cars. (My joke is taken off youtbe but; Guy A:"how big is the engine?" Guy B:"About this big" holding up his hands ~1m apart)

Yeah. If he wanted a birthday text once a year, he ahould have not punched his way to "victory".


I do look back on the night thst he showed his true colours. I could have called the police about a disturbance, but i didnt. (Religious brainwashing about dad is right, no matter what)

But i didnt.

This June is 1 year of the Straw that broke the Camels back. Wonder how life would be if i made that phone call...

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

The night he proved he was OK with punching his children, i came to the conclusion that "I lost my dad, but i still have a father".

Its midnight the night before the birthday. Might be a bit rambling. Am 80% sure its OK to skip his birthday, but that 20% is open correction. Am open to learn something new. (Im not a father. Maybe theres something i dont know)

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 0 points 1 day ago

I have had times when I think to myself "would I rather have not been raised or have been raised by the parents I had". My logic being, if the latter is true, there is something to thank (in this case, via a birthday message). Though the fact your dad doesn't acknowledge the existence of his grandkids or the life your sister chose makes me wonder how right it would be that he expects tribute. It seems as if he will suspend his lack of acknowledgement for small gains. If he thinks "[son/daughter] is not my child, I have disowned them", do you think it would be wrong to think "well, as long as I'm not one of his kids, I hold no obligation here"?

[–] ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

This is hard to understand. Could you expand or write more clearly

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

That was hard to understand? It's a typical abuse scenario.

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Dad punched kids last year. Dads birthday this weekend. Do I wish him a happy birthday? (Mom knows what Dad did, but insists i wish him a happy birthday) (Not sure if you were actually curious of my dilema, or just want me to break it down and answer my own question, but you did the 2nd one)

[–] ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It was just phrased in a way difficult for me to understand. If you're so upset what he did that you don't want to reach out to him then there's your answer.

I'm sorry a parent acted in a way that hurt you and others. I know how that is.

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Why do people wish people wish people happy birthday to each other, wven if you dont care / dont know each other?