Vote for Republicans = You're an evil Nazi
Vote for Democrats = You're an evil liberal, an liberals are just veiled fascist
Vote for third party = You're wasting your vote, you're probably just a foreign asset
Vote for progressives = You support neoliberalism that masquerades as milquetoast socialism
Don't vote at all = You're a privileged asshole who caused all these issues by not voting
It literally doesn't matter what you do or who you vote for, you simply can't win with these people. There's no appeasing them, they will forever complain about how you vote.